Wisdom Comes Suddenly

Celebrate Calm

March 14th, 2010 · 3 Comments

Last week my friend Ana Paula and I attended a workshop by a company named “Celebrate Calm”.  It was a parenting workshop that focused on techniques for parenting intense children.  Hmmm…intense children?  Might I have some of those? I was blown away by the common sense and practical applications we learned during the fastest 2 hours of my life.  I walked away with a fresh perspective on how to parent my…inconveniently creative children.  What?  Do you know a nicer way to say it?

Discipline and motivation have been tough hurdles for us, as it seems no matter how many parenting books we read, the theories simply do not apply to Sara and Kelly.  We’ve bought books recommended by their school.  Great books; insightful, well-researched, theoretical, and complex discussions about the intensity of our kids and how to understand them.  But parent them?  Not so much, other than heart-warming chants about how parenting gifted kids can be the toughest and most rewarding job a parent can have.  Gee, thanks.  Any thoughts on kids who wake up in full tantrums at 3 am?  Techniques?  Got techniques?  No?  How about kids who turn their rock homework into rockets?  Because, while the assignment was ROCKS, my child thought ROCKETS would be far more interesting.  Any way to support their confidence and creativity while getting them to turn in rocks?  Thoughts on that?  No? Well…thanks.  That was a stimulating 400 page read, AND I’m back to Square 1.

But Kirk Martin of Celebrate Calm had some ideas.  Lots of them in fact.  Ideas that were so plain and easy to grasp, they are for every child in every home in America.  Step by step techniques that are grounded in science published by Child Psychiatry Thought Leaders I know and respect.  I took notes so fast my hand cramped.  It was hard to even take notes, because the audience was laughing so hard at Mr. Martin’s descriptions of how we look to our kids when we lose our tempers, trying to get them up, to get them to clean their rooms, to get them to do….ANYTHING whatsoever without an hour of nagging.

I couldn’t wait to try his ideas.  On Thursday morning, I implemented his step by step plan to “Get The Kids Out of Bed and Out The Door On Time”.  It worked so well that the NEXT morning as I showered, Sara walked into the bathroom and asked, “What can I do to help you get this morning started Mommy?”  I thought I was having a stroke, but it was just a brain freeze caused by shock.

The information available at Celebrate Calm goes far beyond getting kids out of bed.  Their work covers everything from defiance to homework to marriage.  I think the core message I received was not to control the girls, but to teach them to control themselves, by first controlling myself.  For once, I feel like I’ve found a resource to teach me how to do it.  I think as parents, many of us hear these platitudes and think, “Great!  Control themselves!  Just tell me how and I’ll do it!  I’ll do anything…I just don’t know WHAT exactly to do.”  Now, I feel like I can DO IT.  “It” being parenting, the hardest damn job I’ve ever taken.  I spent a trillion dollars on a college education, but I don’t know how to parent.  I can intubate, start jugular IVs, and do CPR unassisted for endless amounts of time while flying in the back of a helicopter over foggy water….but I can’t get my 2 year old to drink a glass of milk.  What the HECK is that even about?!

Check out their website at www.celebratecalm.com.  I’m signed up for their weekly newsletter, and I’m hoping to learn more.  I will never have tame child creatures, but I do have happy children.  I have energetic and funny children, but along with those attributes comes a fair deal of chaos and tension.  I’d like to have calm when calm is required.  I’d like to help them channel their ideas for good, lower everyone’s frustration, and enjoy the ride a bit more.  So tonight, I’m going to celebrate hope, in hopes that someday, I’ll be able to say we also celebrate calm.

Tags: The Girls

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Ana Paula // Mar 15, 2010 at 10:39 am

    I had a blast that day, Lori! Thank you so much for inviting me to one of the best and most inspiring and HOPEFUL nights in a looooong time!
    Let me know if you want to get his material with me, and I am there with you!
    He is awesome!
    Miss you!

  • 2 The Momma // Mar 15, 2010 at 11:12 am

    So good to hear from you! How is your Grandmother? I’m so glad you made it home to Brazil safely.

    Let’s catch a coffee when you get home and go over our notes from the workshop. The morning routine worked beautifully again today.

  • 3 Ana Paula // Mar 15, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    I am here, and being treated like a princess. I really needed this time with them.
    I went out to lunch with Marcio the day after the workshop and I shared my notes and what we learned with Marcio.
    He really liked his ideas, and was also going to try them. It is hard, but nothing like one day after the other.
    I am so glad to hear it is working for you!
    I miss you! Let’s plan on lunch!!