Wisdom Comes Suddenly

DAUGHTERS!!!

February 15th, 2012 · 5 Comments

My friends who have sons sometimes sigh longingly at my girls and say, “I long for a little pink.”  Yep, it’s nothing but picturesque tea parties and tutus over here.  And I don’t mean to complain, but in the spirit of enlightenment, I feel compelled to inform my friends that daughters are very honest with their Mommas.  Let’s not say painfully honest, although it’s true…so in the spirit of wordsmything, I’ll say they are exuberantly forthcoming with their opinions.  Allow me to illustrate:

 

Your breath smells Mommy.

Are you going to wear those shoes?

Don’t walk in with me.

I can’t walk in without you!!

Please stop singing.  Really.  Stop.  Now.

***************

Kelly: What did you do to your hair?

Mommy: I got the greys colored out today.

Kelly: Well don’t let those grow back again.

***************

Can I rest my head on your soft pillow-y tummy?

Ha ha!  I see your boobies!

Hey everyone!  My Mommy is 40 today!  FORTY!!!  That’s OLD.

What did you eat for lunch?  You smell.

***************

Mommy: What’s on the wallpaper in the bathroom?

Sara: Nail polish.

Mommy: Oh great.

Sara: I’m glad you like it. I put some on the trash can too.

***************

My feet won’t look like yours when I’m a grown up person, right?

Daddy doesn’t care if I pick my nose.

MOMMY! You are stinking up the WHOLE McDONALD’s BATHROOM!! GROSS!

No more singing Mommy.  Ever. Again.

***************

Sara: Don’t wear those snake-y heels.  They are too snake-y.

Mommy: They are Kate Spades!

Sara: I don’t care who you borrowed them from.  They are ugly.

Mommy: You picked them out!

Sara: I did that so we could go home.

**************

Mommy: Where’s my lipstick?

UNUSUAL SILENCE

Mommy: Has anyone seen my lipstick?

SUDDEN DISAPPEARANCE OF CHILD FIGURES

Mommy: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES IF YOU HAVE MY LIPSTICK!!!

***************

When you die, can I have your shoes? I don’t want the snake-y ones.

The green sweater AGAIN?  Are you sure?

Your bottom is squishy.

You shouldn’t wear hats.

***************

Kelly: Who is in this picture?

Mommy: That’s me.

Sara: No. That’s not  you.

Mommy: It’s my Senior Picture.  It’s most certainly me.

Kelly: Are you sure?

Mommy: KELLY.

Sara: Wow. You’ve changed.

***************

Smell.  Funny.  Bad.  Again.  You.

This dinner looks like cat throw up.

(Whispering) Kelly, let’s wear our Halloween socks over our pants and up to our knees again today.  It drives Mommy crazy!

I don’t think you know how to braid.

I don’t think singing is your special gift.

***************

Sara: ATTENTION EVERYONE!  Come to the living room!  I have a Valentines Card for the whole family!

Daddy: Sara, this card reads, “I love Mommy”.

Sara: YEEESSS.

Kelly: And?

Daddy: That’s all it says.  The “whole family” card says “I love Mommy”.

Sara: Well.  YES?

***************

So I’m thinking they can stay…for at least a little while longer.  And when I do die?  You had better bury me in those snake-y heels.  It’s cool…my friend “Kate” said I could keep them.

 


Tags: The Girls

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5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Teresa // Feb 16, 2012 at 9:56 am

    THAT WAS HILARIOUS! I laughed and laughed…I get the same comment about my singing…

    Have a lovely day!

  • 2 Amie R. // Feb 16, 2012 at 11:05 am

    So funny! So true. So exuberantly true. Thanks for the laugh!

  • 3 Lydia // Feb 16, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    Hmmmm….I sense a theme here. You are stinky and bad at singing. :)

  • 4 The Momma // Feb 16, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    Lydia…you’ve lived with me. It’s OK to confirm these facts. Although, I’ve heard from many that I actually smell like vanilla, my children’s least favorite smell. I can’t win.

  • 5 Ana Paula // Feb 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    So, I am here, at home, sick as a dog, and laughing my heart out. This is hillarious! Thank you for sharing.
    And by the ways, boys are also very honest, brutally honest!