On a bit of a hike to the cleanest bathroom at the park today:
Kelly: Mommy, Brandon wears a nightcap to bed. I want to wear a nightcap to bed. Can I?
Me: He also says he’s going to marry his Mother. I’m not convinced Brandon wears a nightcap to bed.
Kelly: He IS going to marry his Mother! He proposed and she accepted! WHO AM I GOING TO MARRY NOW?! I’m so sad. I guess I’ll just go back to my first plan and marry Neil. So. Can I wear a nightcap?
Me: Did Brandon announce he wears a nightcap while you were on the Field Trip to the Log Cabin?
Kelly: Yes.
Me: That’s what I thought. He doesn’t wear a hat to bed. (QUICK MOMMY…change the subject). What did you learn in school today?
Kelly: How to tell time and then I learned Chinese.
Me: Wow, not a bad day!
Kelly: Wo de Ping guo.
Me: What did you say?
Kelly: I said “my apple”.
Me: I’m going to have to take your word for it.
Kelly: When we get to the bathroom, can I go first?
Me: Kelly, you’re getting to be a big girl. I think it’s time for you to have your own stall.
Kelly: What if the toilet flushes itself?! Those scare me!
Me: You won’t flush down the toilet. It’s time.
Kelly: Are you going to poop?
Me: UM…why do you ask?
Kelly: Because if we aren’t together, and we both poop, we can hear the pooping, and by echolocation, we’ll know how to find each other.
Me: I’ve never thought of using the word echolocation in this type of situation before.
Kelly: It’s not just for bats.
Me: Apparently it’s for lost pooping humans as well.
Kelly: Walk faster Mommy. There are only 60 hours in a day.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Pre-K Teacher // Apr 25, 2012 at 8:19 pm
How do you keep from crackin’ up when Kelly is totally serious!?
2 Karin w // Apr 26, 2012 at 6:17 am
Wait ?! You don’t carry post-it notes to put over the “eye” so the toilets won’t flush automatically!!? Oh…
And your lucky not to have a boy – they want to go into the boys bathroom without you… Two minutes of terror each and every time…
3 The Momma // Apr 26, 2012 at 6:48 am
Oh, I howl. I stopped trying to stifle the laughs a long time ago, because it’s pointless. I leave out the phrases of me telling her she has the funniest and sometimes most enlightened ideas. And craziest.
Karin…post its! Brilliant. But I think I’ll let her tough this one out! I’m so weak, if I had boys I’d throw a pink bow in their hair and drag them into the ladies room forever. I wonder how you Moms of sons do it!!
4 Ana Paula // Apr 26, 2012 at 10:37 am
We learn to just relax and let them do it, and then we enjoy some bathroom time of our own! LOL!
5 Teresa // Apr 26, 2012 at 11:20 am
Thanks again…as always for making me laugh so hard!
Have a lovely day!
6 Aunt Jenny // Apr 26, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Pooping as a means of echolocation! She’s sat in deep thought at some point and totally thought this through!! Probably when she was learning about echolocation – she thought, “Hmmm, I bet humans could use this in the bathroom!” She IS queen of the bathroom!
7 Sarah // Apr 26, 2012 at 7:30 pm
I seriously carried and used post-it notes for my sensory sensitive son and those horrible toilets! It saved the day many times! I love that there are 60 hours in a day. Gives us all more time to ponder thoughts such as pooping and echolocation! She is a hoot! Thanks for making me laugh today!