On a bit of a hike to the cleanest bathroom at the park today:
Kelly: Mommy, Brandon wears a nightcap to bed. I want to wear a nightcap to bed. Can I?
Me: He also says he’s going to marry his Mother. I’m not convinced Brandon wears a nightcap to bed.
Kelly: He IS going to marry his Mother! He proposed and she accepted! WHO AM I GOING TO MARRY NOW?! I’m so sad. I guess I’ll just go back to my first plan and marry Neil. So. Can I wear a nightcap?
Me: Did Brandon announce he wears a nightcap while you were on the Field Trip to the Log Cabin?
Me: That’s what I thought. He doesn’t wear a hat to bed. (QUICK MOMMY…change the subject). What did you learn in school today?
Kelly: How to tell time and then I learned Chinese.
Me: Wow, not a bad day!
Kelly: Wo de Ping guo.
Me: What did you say?
Kelly: I said “my apple”.
Me: I’m going to have to take your word for it.
Kelly: When we get to the bathroom, can I go first?
Me: Kelly, you’re getting to be a big girl. I think it’s time for you to have your own stall.
Kelly: What if the toilet flushes itself?! Those scare me!
Me: You won’t flush down the toilet. It’s time.
Kelly: Are you going to poop?
Me: UM…why do you ask?
Kelly: Because if we aren’t together, and we both poop, we can hear the pooping, and by echolocation, we’ll know how to find each other.
Me: I’ve never thought of using the word echolocation in this type of situation before.
Kelly: It’s not just for bats.
Me: Apparently it’s for lost pooping humans as well.
Kelly: Walk faster Mommy. There are only 60 hours in a day.