Today was non-stop, but everyone kept their tempers in check, especially The Momma, and while I hurt everywhere (oh God, the headache), I am in much better spirits. I’m up for a little story-tellin’ if you are.
AVERY, aka Rooster Saucy La La
Her Language Arts Assignment was to read paragraphs, and then tell me if the Author was trying to be “Informative” or “Entertaining”. Who knew it would be such a slippery slope? After reading a paragraph about a volcano, Avery told me it was entertaining.
Aunt Orly (that’s my “aka”): Hmm. So many facts in this paragraph. Are you sure?
Avery: How could a story about a volcano be anything OTHER THAN entertaining? It’s a VOLCANO Aunt Orly!
Aunt Orly: You make an excellent point. Perhaps you should list it as both an “I” and an “E”.
Avery: Good idea.
SARA, aka Ducky Wigglebottoms
Also reading similar paragraphs with the same directive, Sara finished a story about twin brothers who decided to switch homerooms for the day, only to find one had to miss recess due to a prior day’s infraction and the other had to take a math test. Therefore, the joke was on them.
Sara: Well, clearly this is informative.
Mommy: Hmm…really? You didn’t laugh at the end?
Sara: Let me put it to you this way: if I were a twin and I were thinking of pulling a stunt like this, I would have found this story to be very informative. It is clearly written to be a LESSON.
Mommy: You are brilliant. Never let anyone ever tell you otherwise. High five!
KELLY, aka The Boo Boo Chicken
Kelly: I’d like to sing you a song about The Three Little Pigs. I think it’s better as a song.
Mommy: Sounds good. Shoot.
Kelly: [And here I will paraphrase a very long song about a pig who made a house of straw, only to be eaten whole by a wolf. The 2nd pig made a house of sticks, and was roasted with vegetables, again, eaten by the wolf. The 3rd house was made of bricks, and the wolf came and "He BLEW! He BLEW! He blew, he blew he blew!! He blew the house down!"]
Mommy: Wait! The brick house doesn’t fall down.
Kelly: This is MY VERSION of the story! ANNNDDD THEN the wolf turned that pig into soup! Soup! Soup! Soup! He ate PIG SOUP!
Mommy: This is a very sad version of The 3 Little Pigs.
Kelly: This song isn’t about the pigs. It’s about a wolf who liked to eat everything. Especially PIGS.