Wisdom Comes Suddenly

Tales From The Trifecta, Volume 2

June 11th, 2012 · 6 Comments

The Beginning of the Trifecta (July 26, 2007)

Avery Going To Dinner With Her Parents After an “Educational” Week With Aunt Orly:

Aunt Jenny: Avery, do you want milk?

Avery: Um…no.

Aunt Jenny: What? You love milk with your dinner.

Avery: Aunt Orly told me about the dangerous chemicals in milk.  I think they’re called hormones.

Aunt Jenny (after I’m sure must have included at least one “thanks a lot Lori” eye roll): I’m sure this milk is fine.

Avery: Just to be safe, I’m going to get something else.  I’ll have chocolate milk instead.

Sara: I need poster board Mommy.  Do you have any I can use?

Avery: I need some too.

Kelly: Me too.

Mommy: OK, let me see what I have.  We may have to cut it up to have enough for everyone.

Sara: Can we use the markers?

Mommy: Sure.

( I returned downstairs to leave them to their play.)

Sara: TWO DOLLARS!!  TWO DOLLARS!! I need two dollars!

Avery: Kelly, I hope she can find some money so we can buy food.

Kelly: Where are we sleeping tonight?

Mommy: OH MY LORD, ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING HOMELESS?!!

Sara: Yep.

(Running upstairs to find they had made beggar signs.)

Mommy: Well, OK.  I wish you luck.

(Seriously.  What was I supposed to do?  Tell them not to connect to the issue of homelessness?  Suggest it’s politically incorrect, thereby separating “us” from “them”?  It was a lose-lose, so I told them to continue as they were.)

Staffing their lemonade stand at the garage sale.  They are on an American Girl doll saving mission.

Handing out towels after swim time:

Sara: What are you reading Mommy?  Does that title say “Fifty”?

Kelly: It can’t.  It says 13.

Mommy: No, Sara’s right, it says fifty.

Kelly: But aren’t you reading “My Thirteenth Winter“?

Mommy: I finished that book last week.  How do you remember that?

Kelly: You TOLD me. (She’s going to be fun as a tween.)

Sara: Don’t you have another book that says “Fifty” on your nightstand?

Mommy: Um…yes.  They’re nothing important guys.  They are just quick, little summer books for Mommies.

Kelly: Wow, you must really like math.

Sara: I thought Daddy was the one who liked math.

Mommy: Daddy loves…um, math.  But Mommy loves math too.

Sara: So are your fifty books really good math books?

Mommy: Uh…uh…YES.  I’m only in the first chapter, but I’m thinking these might be fun math books. OKAY, does everyone have a towel?!  Who wants a cake pop? (Thereby changing the subject FOREVER.)


Tags: The Girls

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6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Lydia // Jun 11, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Hahahahaha! Yeah, I’ll bet Daddy is REALLY loving how Mommy keeps reading all of those Fifty math books!

  • 2 Roxanne // Jun 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    So how do you like the “Fifty” books? I read them all relatively quickly and loved them all.

  • 3 The Momma // Jun 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    Roxanne, I’m only on Chapter 6 of the first one, so I’m trying to reserve judgement. I’m sure it’s bound to get saucy, but thus far I find their union completely implausible.

  • 4 Roxanne // Jun 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    I liked book 2 and 3 much better than the first, but my most favorite is book is book 3.

  • 5 Hands Free Mama // Jun 13, 2012 at 12:30 am

    Thanks for the pure entertainment! Never a dull moment at Aunt Orly’s house. I am amazed at your ability to remember all their funny comments. Summer has a way of zapping my short term memory.

  • 6 The Momma // Jun 13, 2012 at 6:25 am

    Rachel, I use a trick. Whenever they say something funny, I repeat it over and over and over in my head, knowing I want to type it later. Then I write it down as soon as I can.