Friday afternoon I asked the girls, “Would you like to come with me for manicures?”  WOULD THEY EVER! Why have I waited their entire lives to ask?! I didn’t realize tidy cuticles were so high on their To-Do List. Sara sat in thrilled silence as her nails were turned hot pink with silver swishes.  She politely explained that Mommy had said she would not pay for flowers and swoosh, but the girls were being so darned cute, those lovely manicurists put everything but diamonds on their fingers for free.

With Kelly stationed right behind me, I listened with raised eyebrows to the “shy with strangers” child go on and on…AND ON about her friends and her day.  The manicurist nodded patiently and sweetly until finally Kelly said, “So are you from China?  And if so, why don’t you tell me all about that?”  As little English as she spoke, we both collapsed into giggles.

I thought that was it.  I’d need to take a picture of their fancy fingers and call the manicure outing my Sunday post, but today they came rushing into my bedroom wearing their “sterile laboratory gloves” and this transpired:

Sara: Dr. Kelly!  Dr. Kelly!  I’m so glad I found you in the lab!  I collected a thousand stomach bugs from my patient.  What do you think it is?

Kelly: Well Dr. Sara, it seems to me it’s the flu op-a-pemic.

Mommy: Flu epidemic.  I think you meant epidemic.

Sara: When I finish with my office hours (she actually said that…where does she learn these phrases?), I’m headed to my laboratory to do a couple of hours of research before the end of the day.  Someone has to do something about this flu epidemic.

{Sara returning a few minutes later.}

Sara: Mommy, I think I’ve done it.  I’ve invented a medicine so strong, it can only be used for extremely ill people.  In fact, you have to have thousands of illnesses to take it.  I’ve given it to only one patient in the history of life.

Mommy: Did he live?!

Sara: Oh. YES.  Yes, he did.  I call this medicine “Saf”.  It’s spelled S-A-F.

Mommy: Saf.  So it’s pronounced the same as it’s spelled.

Sara: Well…yes.

Mommy: You know, hundreds of years ago, there was a flu-like illness so awful, it killed a third of Europe.  It was called the Bubonic Plague.

Kelly: A third?  So three people died?

Mommy: A third is kind of hard to explain in this context, so I’ll just say way more than 3.  If 100 people got it, about 30 died.

Kelly: 30! That’s a lot of people.

Mommy: Yes…30. A lot.

Sara: Are you teasing us?

Mommy: Why would I make a joke about the bubonic plague?

Sara: Because you just said the word “boob”.

Kelly: Dr. Sara, we don’t have time for this!  We need to isolate all of these flu patients! Mommy…can we borrow your laundry baskets?

Mommy: I’m assuming they’ll serve as perfect isolation suites? Yes, you may have all you need.

Sara: You’re a GENIUS Mommy!  You’re the most geniuses of Mommies ever. That’s exactly what they are.  Dr. Kelly, grab them and let’s head for the bathroom!

Kelly: Will this OP-A-PEMIC ever end?! At least it’s not the booby-on-ic plague!