I’d like to say all sorts of things this evening, but Sara turned in about a million homework points for a Furby. I’m pretty sure this alien-creature is stealing my thoughts. Why a million points? Because that’s the price we set, hoping she’d give up before she got there. We should have known better: Sara NEVER gives up. I think it’s worse that she wanted teal, meaning every time I look at it, I hear Debbie Gibson playing in my head and I have sudden urge to pile on neon bracelets and corkscrew curl my hair.
She left it in the car at the school drop-off, fastening it securely with a seat belt, so you can imagine my HORROR when it started talking to me. I forgot it was back there, and turned around to see a GLOWING EYEBALL FURRY ALIEN screaming at me in gibberish. And then it said “seriously, feed me”, and I nearly peed my pants and wrecked the car.
FIRST, the only creature allowed to say “FEED ME” is the Venus Fly Trap in “Little Shop Of Horrors”. That plant eats humans, is 100x bigger than a Furby by the final scene, and still, I think I’m less scared of it than I am the Furb-urglar. SECOND, Sara is lucky I didn’t hurl this thing out the window, thereby assuring we are safe from its evil powers.
But in all honesty, I fear it would find us, and my friend Michele warned me last week, “Don’t make the Furby mad.” Great. Just great. I have a big week of meetings and Science Fair judging and celebrations…so if I mysteriously don’t show up…please come looking, because it’s possible the Teal Gremlin has bested me. I’m thinking realistically here. Look at it. Those ears are weapons. I just know it….