The weekend started out weak; I won’t sugarcoat it. You witnessed my mood on Friday, and when Sydney Cat puked all over my arm at 4 am on Saturday morning, I realized it wasn’t going to be an isolated day of wicked juju. My bad mojo was going to LAST for a bit. Before I could finish the morning paper, Kelly fell down a flight of stairs. Unhurt, yet oddly exhilarated, and after a good cry, she seemed as if she’d like to try it again. Luckily, she decided she’d rather play in the basement, where she found a forbidden pen, colored on the walls, the windowsills, the suede couch, and her legs and feet. Yes! Because if this day is going to tank, let’s do this right!
But you know me, when the Fates come a-knockin’, I like to pull out my boxing gloves and challenge those witches to a duel. OH, you think you can make a mess of my house Fates? I’LL SHOW YOU BEOTCHES HOW IT’S DONE. You haven’t seen household chaos until you’ve messed with The Momma. Let’s Get This Party Started…
So I stole my niece for the night, and declared it…THE COUSIN OLYMPICS!
We did just a little rice and bean sorting before heading off for pizza and breadsticks. We returned home to make sure we REALLY got it everywhere. Let’s leave no bean unscattered. I’ve got some Fates to tick off…get busy girls.
I have 6 bottles of window paint young ladies. Do your worst. Put on some old clothes and let’s ART those doors UP! I think they really did a lovely job of decorating, as the morning shot will reflect (or refract, depending on how much you enjoyed high school Physics):
Now those are some WINDOWS. Call Macy’s. Christmas 2010 is just around the corner, and these girls could make Macy’s holiday windows SPLASHY, yes? Besides, what’s an Olympics without an official sponsor? We’ll start the bidding at $10,000 per window…going once, going twice…
3 cans of silly string didn’t last nearly as long as I anticipated, but for our first attempt at silly stringing, I must say, the girls had fun. I’m not sure if Greg won or lost this event. We covered the couches and toys with sheets, so in the big picture, Greg and I medaled.
The “Tub Markers and Crayons” is a hard event to shoot. As you can see, they brought their A-game. I love tub crayons because they clean up a lot easier than you might anticipate, and the kids think drawing on the tub is a riot. Tub paints only stick if you first draw a bit with crayons, in case you were thinking of adding this to your list of “ways to create more work for myself”. We finished up bathtime with some foam soap, and from the opening picture, you can see how well that went. Lesson learned: too much, too near the eyes. They won’t be entering this competition again.
We blew up a gigantic air mattress and let the girls chill in front of “Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure”, but there was very little chilling. We finally had to haul their tired heads upstairs to bed where they crashed into comas. Short, up at the crack of dawn, comas.
I learned how to make crayon melts at “Do They Have Salsa In China?”, and Sara and I did a practice run last week. The goal is to use the broken and old crayons at the bottom of your crayon tub, and I attest that those worked just as well as the new ones we pulled out for the Cousin Olympics. I bought a new box, because when you are tempting the Fates, you gotta go the distance. 10 minutes at 250 and VOILA:
Super-y Duper-y fun new crayons. These make for some cool coloring, but if you have a 2 year old, remind her over and over that they aren’t colorful Reese’s cups. And have the 4 year old remind her that Mommy has hidden all the chocolate in the house anyway, so there is no way on God’s green earth that these are candy.
If you recall from “Play of the Day” last week, I was globally disappointed in Crayola Watercolors. Even on high-quality watercolor paper, it’s just a whole “lotta nothin’”. The girls and I visited a REAL art store, and the nice folks there helped me select student grade watercolors. For $5 we purchased 12 small tubes of watercolors, and I can tell you, a little goes a long way. The paint you see here easily covered 4 sheets (preschool style, so that’s 50 sheets if done by adults). I do recommend watercolor paper, or it’s just a mess of wet.
Avery was very dedicated to this process, and swore to me that this painting depicts the “greatest and most advanced makeup applicator ever invented”. I’m going to have to take her word for it. And I SHOULD take her word for it, because, after all, as she reminded me several times, she IS FIVE AND A HALF.
We ate mac and cheese and hot dogs at the Closing Ceremonies of the First Cousin Olympics, and then Avery went home with her crayon melts and art. It was a tearful and sad goodbye, as our memories are so warm, and so very, very messy. I hope the next time the Fates want to visit my weekend, they remember this little rumble. And just keep in mind, I have more where this came from! This was me playing nice. You want to get ugly next time? 3 words Fates: INDOOR BUBBLE BLOWING. Oh I’LL DO IT…don’t even GO there…I…WILL...DO…IT.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Grandma // Mar 1, 2010 at 9:44 am
Looks like you had a great time with the girls!! You went the extra mile to make sure they had a good time. Good Auntie Love Mom
2 Ellen // Mar 1, 2010 at 9:44 am
OK – I’ve got tons of broken crayons at the Pre-school. What did you line the muffin tins with?
3 Blessings // Mar 1, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Because I don’t have your email address that is why I posted here for you to have a good day with a hearty laugh!~
THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS :
Listen up City Slickers !
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn’t crooked.
3. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a ‘dirt road..’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They’re live steaks. That’s why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-70 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year..
6. So every person in southern Indiana waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi & caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.
9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah…. We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring ‘coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.
14. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards — it spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over.. We have State Universities , Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don’t mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.
20. 4 inches isn’t a blizzard – it’s a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON’T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain’t Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.
4 Kathy // Mar 1, 2010 at 6:46 pm
wow i’m tired from just reading that. goodnight.