Photographic evidence as to why I rarely let the girls dress themselves: Sara’s pocket is actually unraveling down the front of her dress!

I’m always on a campaign to teach the girls mind-calming sleep methods.  So far I’m about 0 for 10, but you gotta keep trying, you know?  Friday night, undeterred by failure, I tried again. 

Mommy: Girls, sometimes, when I have trouble quieting my mind, I like to tell myself a story.  Would you like me get one started for you, and then you can finish it in your head?

Girls: Yes! A story!

Mommy: Let’s pretend we live deep, deep in a beautiful forest, and this bedroom is our cozy cottage.  Our whole cottage is not much bigger than this bedroom, and we all live here together, safe and warm.  My bedroom is just on the other side of your closet door.

Sara: What color is it?  Your bedroom..what color is it?

Mommy: It’s lavender.

Sara: No, your bedroom is blue.  We just read books in your room.

Mommy: This is a story.  So in the pretend story, my bedroom is lavender, my favorite color.  In my bedroom, there is a sunny window with a deep window seat, and we read books sitting in the window.

Sara: No, we read books on your bed.  We just did it.

Mommy: Again, it’s a pretend story, but we can read books on my bed if you wish.

Kelly: PETER AND DA WOLF!  Is dis da story of PETER AND DA WOLF?!  I’m scared of da wolf!!!

Mommy: No, there is no wolf in this forest.  But there are Seven Dwarfs, and they like to come over for dinner sometimes!

Sara: You said our bedroom was the entire cottage.  We could never fit 7 dwarfs in this bedroom.

Mommy: Moving on…our cottage is safe and cozy and warm.  We often do crafts in our tiny kitchen, just on the other side of this door.

Sara: We do crafts downstairs at our white craft table.  Our kitchen is not tiny.

Mommy: This cottage has only one floor.

Sara: So crafts will never work.

Mommy: Why not?

Sara (quite exasperated): Because you said we could only do crafts at the WHITE CRAFT TABLE, which is DOWNSTAIRS!

Mommy: Moving on with our pretend story…right after I kiss you good night, I’m going to go to bed myself, in my lavender bedroom.

Sara: NO, you stay up late on Friday nights watching TV with Daddy and talking.  DOWNSTAIRS.

Kelly: DA MONSTER!  Is dis da story of DA MONSTER?!  I’m so scared of MONSTERS!!!

Mommy: There are no monsters in this story.  Maybe we should try this at another time.  Good night girls, I love you.

As I’m walking down the stairs, I hear,

Kelly: Are there dinosaurs?  Because I’m so scared of…

So that makes me 0 for 11…tune again soon, when I’ll be sharing more of my fruitless attempts at creative parenting.  The not so good news?  Sara’s nightmares started again Friday night.  I’m sure it has nothing to do with being stranded in the middle of nowhere in a cramped cottage, surrounded by wolves, monsters, and dinosaurs.  Way to GoooooOOOO MOM!