I want to admit a bit of naive idiocy on my part; I’ve spent years believing that ANY part of Better Homes & Gardens, Martha Stewart Daily Living, and Huggies commercials were real. Honestly, you could sell me swamp land in Florida if you promised it had curb appeal and coordinating Thanksgiving dishes with matching table linens. I’m not a particularly materialistic person, but I’ve always been drawn to the “feelings” they were selling.

Better Homes and Gardens decorated homes section does not include a perfectly coordinating Elmo Tool Bench. That is possessed and won’t turn off. And the batteries never seem to die. The gardens section does not include a landscaped bright blue blow up pool from Wal-Mart. And that Huggies commercial with the perfectly showered and dressed Mommy chasing the diapered baby who is crawling away from her and giggling? HAH! The real story is that they are running 10 minutes late for their upteenth doctor’s appt. of the week, and the reason the baby is in a new diaper but not dressed is because she pooped through her original outfit. The Mommy is sweating and cursing under her breath, whispering that the Corporate Ladder involved no 3 am feedings. The two year old is downstairs, using the cat food as a climbing tool to get to the syrup, which is now…all over her hair.

But because I have a never say die attitude, I recently tried two suggestions from the magazine. The editors highlighted an “All Night Flea Market” near Chicago. Travel Channel’s 5th Best Flea Market in the WORLD! Bring your lanterns and wagons and shop through a warm summer night. How intriguing! I took my Mother and Mother-in-law as a fun treat for my Mom’s birthday. And you know what? A flea market at midnight is still just a big garage sale. This one took place at a fairgrounds, so we had the added benefit of shopping in the hog barn. BONUS! Did we have fun? Of course we did. We tried on old lady hats and bought pastries from the nuns. But intriguing? Not so much.

Then I attempted a fun harvest suggestion, and set up a “make your own carmel apple” bar a at the Bethel Barbecue. Fun for all! I had nuts and M&Ms and carmel and chocolate, OH MY! And what happens when you give school age children a meat tenderizing mallet and the chance to smash their own M&Ms? They smash their hands. Ouch! And carmel takes forever to harden. You’d better hope it’s not raining, because you have to eat that mess outside.

So for all the world to see: on a Sunday afternoon after a long morning of play and a half-hearted attempt to start the laundry here is my Better Home:

And on a Friday afternoon with my good friends at my side, here is my Better Garden:

Do you ever notice how the rooms and gardens in the magazine never have people in the pictures? Hmmm…..perhaps “Better” should be left open to interpetation…