Dear Kelly,
These 5 minutes, oops, I mean 5 months you’ve been with us continue to fly by at lightening speed. I would say everything with you is fine, except that would be an understatement. Your facial expressions and moods would seem to indicate that things with you are GREAT! You seem to want to say this bottle is BRILLIANT! This oatmeal tastes AMAZING! Was that just regular oatmeal, because I really tasted something special in there? I get to play with this fantastic toy again?! Really?! YES!
You get this pursuit of happiness gene from your great grandmother, Paulie. We call her GG, for Great Grandmother. I wish I could describe her to you, but that would be like bottling a rainbow along with the sweetest ocean air you’ve ever inhaled. She has this all-encompassing accepting electric kind of happiness that runs right through you. Her every breath is like a praise to God. When she was 82, she kicked my butt on the Race for the Cure, and then went back to your Grandmommy’s house and helped host an Open House for over 100 guests. Last year we were visiting and I remember being upstairs with your sister, and through the windows, I could hear her singing. I looked out, and there she was 2 stories below me, feet dangling into the hot tub, singing opera. Singing all the way to the sky. She is every flavor of happy, and she will tell you to use that feeling to help your fellow man. While you sister may look so much like her it’s like a mini clone machine spit her out while stuck on the GG cycle, I think it is you that captured a piece of her personality. Cherish this blessing, as she is respected and adored by all who meet her.
This month, I’ve been reading “Eat Pray Love”, by Elizabeth Gilbert. You’ve given me one of the greatest gifts these past 5 months; you allow me to read while you doze off in my arms. I’ve burned through several books, and the gift of reading refreshes me daily. This book is full of fantastic observations, and I want to include one I read this week that has found a place in my psyche:
“I keep remembering one of my Guru’s teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment. It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.”
These statements about happiness as a result of purposeful effort defines the best years of my life. I want so much to pass this life lesson onto you and your sister. You don’t fall headfirst into the life of your dreams. You create it through good choices that move you towards the dream. Ask God to show you the path and he will, but you’ll have to find the personal courage to walk that path. This thing we call life, and even happiness, ain’t easy kid. Christmas, family, warm memories made with people you love…none of it happens by luck. I may summarize the beauty of life for you here, but make no mistake, there is some work involved in this thing we call us. So if work is the guaranteed lot in all our lives, you may as well work towards happy sweetheart.
You now turn your head towards your name, which brings us joy. Even your name reminds me of happy. I wish I could sing it here as we sing it to you, “Kel-ly, Kel-ly, Kel-ly”. Kelly feels like a circular name, that swings back onto itself, begging to be said more than once. I feel a magnanimousness in your presence. I want this joy to wash over me all the days of my life, warming me in its glow. In just 5 short months you’ve brought so much to our lives, it’s boggling. Thank you Kelly. Thank you for so, so much.
Crazy happy forever love,
Mommy
