As an ER nurse, I’ve seen it all.  And when I say “seen it all”, I mean it.  An 80 year old man moments after he scalped himself with the boom on his sailboat.  The temporal fascia really does have a pearl like sheen to it!  He survived in fine fashion, but with an extremely nasty scar.  A drunk man minutes after a train took his legs.  He woke up in a stupor in the ER with no legs.  I’ll never forget the look on his face.  A night in the Boston City ER when an ex-boxer high on heroine decided to beat me up.  People on heroine move in slow motion, so while he put up his dukes, I stepped out of his way, and he fell right on his face.  I nearly pee’d my pants laughing.

But tonight…in my living room…I found a new low.  Kelly pooped whole blueberries and entire chunks of bacon.  That girls needs some molars.  And I need to do a better job of cutting up her food.  Sara walked around my shoulder with her stethoscope hanging around her neck, carrying a toy otoscope, and said, “Oh My God”.

Mommy: Now I’ve seen it all.

Sara: Dat’s for sure.

Addendum: to counteract our poop PTSD, we are now dancing to “Let My Love Open the Door” in the living room.  Sara is wearing the obligatory tiara while waving a magic wand and flaunting my Senior Prom necklace.