I won’t sugarcoat it; I’ve been in a bit of a dark place lately. The glitter of my first 8 weeks of staying at home wore off, and I began to feel the weight of the treadmill. Life began to feel little more than a string of lost days, laundry that never ended, and grocery lists that ran on for miles. I lost my motivation. The comfort zone of Corporate America was far enough behind in my rear view mirror that I couldn’t see it anymore. But hardest of all, as someone born with a only tiny bit of patience, I was running on empty. I felt like a car without oil. Breaks that squeaked all day long.

Sara in Fall 2007, only moments before the onset of the Great FLU of the Fall Festival

Monday, Sara and Kelly and I retreated to the basement for some playtime. I went through some of GG’s things that had generously been given to us by Grandmommy, and there in the stack was an applique sweatshirt jacket that I had given GG two years ago at Christmas. A jacket I bought with Grandmommy from the Ladybug Clothing Company on a FUN trip to the Charlotte Christmas Show.

I put it on, and instantly, I felt a wave of calmness overwhelm me. Patience. Tranquility and gentle contentment. It stayed with me all evening. So much so that I FINALLY found the motivation after 3 long years of talking about quilting, to sign up for a class. I did it. I start in 2 weeks! Please join me on Tuesday nights at the Backdoor Quilt Store!

GG, Me & Sara, and Pop Pop: Christmas 2006

On Tuesday morning, the girls and I headed to the Zoo. Perfect timing: school just started so no kids and no school groups. When we sat in “Forests” to have our snack in the shade, I felt it. FALL. AUTUMN is upon us. A season I love so much that I stuff every inch of this house with cheesy fall decor. The cicadas are singing so loudly they almost drown out everything else. I could hear the wind ruffling the leaves. They must be drying out just enough to sound like tissue paper rubbing together. The intensity of the sun has changed ever so slightly. The shadows are more harsh. Is is because the humidity is lower, making the air clear? I don’t know. I only know I see fall all around me. The bottom of the feed corn stalks are brown. The spider webs are covering my front yard landscaping.

Yes! Fall. School. Schedules. The hum of the harvest. The slight disappointment when the fields are emptied almost overnight. The breath holding that happens around the first frost. The quiet before the holidays.

Sara playing in the Fall Leaves 2006

I feel this mood lifting. I feel a bit more centered. A bit less brittle. You can bet I’ll be wearing that sweatshirt jacket this fall. And this winter. And anytime I need to feel that GG is here, singing “A Bushel and a Peck and hug around the neck. I LUVA THE BABIES!” Talk about a woman who chose happy every single day. She CHOSE it. She chose patience. My Grandma did the same. I pray that some day I can do it too.