The girls wanted painted water balloons at the Apple Festival, to which I replied, “I have balloons and water at home! We can make those for free!”
There’s so much to argue about on the political front these days that we’ve forgotten to finish our argument about whether or not we’re actually in a Recession. We are! We’re not! We are! We’re not!
If they say that a Recession is when your neighbor loses his job and a Depression is when you lose your job, then that test has been passed. EVERYONE I know has either lost their job or worries everyday that ANY DAY they will be losing their job. I know 2 people who lost jobs before they even started them!! BUT, many of my friends have found new jobs, so I think maybe the Recession is true, but the Depression in not….here yet. Here….yet.
As a pretty cost-conscious person, even in a good economy, here my signs that we are indeed, in a Recession. Otherwise known as, “Lori Math, Chapter 2”:
1. I argued with the clerk at JoAnn Fabrics about the fine print on the coupon.
2. I argued with the check out lady at Wal-Mart about the fine print on the coupon.
3. I started reading the fine print on the coupons.
4. I’ve actually spent so much time in consignment stores that Sara threw up in one store last Saturday from the smell. Apparently deep discount has the added price of nausea.
5. Sara’s latest phrase is, “We can’t afford organic eggs.”
6. Keri analogized shopping for fun to the recklessness of drunk driving.
7. I pack the girls’ lemonade in animal shaped cups when we go to the Zoo, and then when they ask if they can have an animal shaped sippy from the concession stand, I say, “OH! I already bought you both one when you weren’t looking! Here you go!” They’ll have this trick figured out by Xmas, I’m sure.
8. I cruise Meijer every week, looking for their discounted meat that is about to expire (actually, a damned good idea…but more on this later).
9. The sump pump is dying. I’m thinking instead of replacing it, we’ll just turn the basement into an indoor pool.
10. For Christmas, instead of presents, I’m donating money to “The Human Fund”. JUST JOKES! God I miss Seinfeld.
How to tell if we’re in a Depression:
I color my own hair. No really, that’s it. Just ask the Federal Reserve. They call weekly, “Are you ready to color your own hair Lori? NO? Thank God.”
One response to “Recession Litmus Test”
You beat me to it! I so wanted to write a blog post about new recession driven buying decisions. Of course, I’m the worst bargain shopper in the world, so your post is much funnier than mine would have been. I would have to say my litmus test goes like this: Can’t afford to get my nails done at salon – already true (recession); can’t afford Dior foundation – because I would save every penny I have to afford it (depression); can’t afford to get my hair done – because I would hold a salon at gunpoint if it comes to that (apocalypse). Greg will totally let me borrow a gun, right?