If we were to stretch our imaginations for a moment and imagine Stay at Home Motherhood as a beauty pageant…oops, sorry, a scholarship pageant (without the prize money), it would have 4 basic feats of strength: staying engaged with your children in a creative and purposeful day, staying on top of the house (no one wins…it’s like we’re all wearing the gown and shoes and every single one of us falls down the stairs), surviving a “Daddy out of town” business trip, and of course, the final question.  In this pageant, everyone pulls the question out of a big fish bowl (or cereal bowl…whatever is clean), and it’s just one word, asked deftly by a 3 year old, “WHY?”.  Over and over and over.  The Mom who answers the most Whys without yelling “SHUSH” wins.

This week, I attempted the “Daddy on a Business Trip” feat.  Let’s just say, on the last day, the Pageant Officials came to my front door and RIPPED my crown of popsicle sticks and leftover craft beads RIGHT OFF MY HEAD.  Why, you deftly ask like a skilled preschooler…because I BROKE MY KID.

Greg spent the week in Florida for work.  You know, FLORIDA, where the SUNSHINE IS STORED.  I was beyond determined to enjoy the week with the girls.  Apparently, my determination alerted Karma to wake up from her winter rest (Karma’s a chick.  I know because Karma’s a bitch).  First, the snow fell.  And fell.  And fell.  No worries, my neighbors knew Greg was gone and were kind enough to snow blow my driveway.  The girls and I played and watched new cartoons (ooooh we lika the Little Bear!).  We were on a serious roll of playing hard and sleeping in and exploring the snow.  We finally made it up to Muncie on our last solo day, to play at an indoor playground called Escapades.  Again, playing hard, having a ball with Grandma, until Sara fell off the cargo netting maze and dislocated her elbow.  OUCH!

We experienced our first trip to an ER.  I was wrong in assuming it would be with headbutting Kelly.  Sara was a trooper through the xrays and the trip home.  Greg caught an early flight and arrived just as I was filling Sara with Tylenol, coughing Kelly with Robitussin, and covering everyone’s new winter rashes with cream.  “Um…sorry Daddy, I kind of broke the kids.”

The first night was beyond awful.  Poor Sara cried all night, while I held ice packs over her elevated elbow.  I called a friend who is a radiologist who was able to diagnose Sara off her lack of desire to go to preschool.  “She won’t go to school?  Get that girl to a orthopedic doctor immediately!”  We went to the orthopedic hospital, where she received the best care (thank you Ortho Indy!).  The first ER trip was accurate: she dislocated her elbow and it was back in alignment, but it required splinting for pain and healing.  Along with a little codeine! Sara was pretty fascinated by a room devoted entirely to casting.  In true pediatric fashion, the staff splinted her bear as well.

We’re through the 2nd night, and I must say, what a difference that splint has made.  Sara told me as she drifted off last night that “finally Mommy, my arm doesn’t hurt anymore”.  Sweet little face buried in a pile of pillows and makeshift clothes.  After a full night’s sleep, she’s up and making a list of all the things she’ll be able to do when the splint comes off (hopefully in 5 days…cross your fingers!): dress herself, put on her Chef costume, pee pee without help… As well, her two new favorite words are, “medical supplies”.  She asked if I had medical supplies when I was a little girl.  After using her allowance tonight to buy “Elmo Goes to the Doctor”, she asked to watch, “Elmo Has Medical Supplies”.  Leave it to Sara to make us all laugh at this latest round of drama.  WHERE does she get that? Gotta run…nurse Mommy’s shift never ends…