My beautiful and absolutely perfect in every way niece, Avery, is going to spend the summer here at the ranch.  I’ve been so giddy with excitement about the whole thing that I’m theming this summer, “THE SUMMER OF FUN!!!”, and seriously, I might make t-shirts.  I keep a little journal where I jot notes of all the fun things we’re going to do this summer.  This week at Pa Pa Bill’s birthday celebration, Avery, nearly bursting herself, pumped her arms in the air as she jumped up and down, “AUNT ORLY!  I’M SPENDING EVERY SINGLE DAY THIS SUMMER WITH YOU!!!”  Tears immediately streamed down my cheeks.  Just knowing that Avery is as excited as Sara and Kelly and I are…I am overflowing with joy.  I feel a true resurgence in my natural positivity.

Maybe it’s because my Dad was on strike when I was Avery’s age, and I spent a summer at my family’s farm with my cousins.  It was the greatest summer of my life.  Maybe just knowing I could give that to her; knowing that memories are better presents than anything material…maybe that is what turned me around this week.  Maybe it’s just Kelly’s GI health (9 days and counting…)!

Maybe it’s because I spend all of my days with children, and someone forgot to give them the 411 that we’re in a Recession.  Everything is BAD.  Don’t they know?  It’s AWFUL.  Everything is TERRIBLE.  Stop giggling and dancing!  It’s REALLY, REALLY BAD.  But here’s the thing: I don’t watch the news.  I watch Berenstain Bears.  There is no Recession in Bear Country.  As a matter of fact, they aren’t cutting back at all.  Brother got a new bike and today they are lost in the mall.

Maybe it’s because I thought the melanoma was back last December, and for the longest 10 minutes of my life, I hyperventilated (not an exaggeration) at my eye doctor’s office, awaiting my fate.  It had not spread to my eyes after all, and my doctors have banned me from medical-related Google searches.  As it turns out, it only takes 10 minutes to put an entire life into perspective.  Who knew.

Maybe it’s because my last floor nursing job was in research.  The memories of 30 year old Mothers with cancer are so clear in my head that 11 years later, I can still remember their names, their faces, and the hope they had for experimental chemo.  One father with pancreatic cancer told me he only wished to live long enough for his 18 month old to remember him.  I won’t tell you the outcome.  I’ll only tell you that I’ve seen worse things than the Recession.

Last Saturday, we had friends over for dinner.  We stayed up late on the back porch, enjoying the weather, having a grand ‘old time.  Last year I would have served pistachio-encrusted tuna. This year, it was 3 Buck Chuck and spaghetti.  Last year, Dad’s birthday was at a restaurant.  This year, we had nachos and bumbleberry pie in my dining room.  Last year, I would have given Auntie Amanda a check for her graduation.  This year, I’m making a quilt.  Mother’s Day will also be very hand-made this year.

So it’s bad.  It’s really, really bad.  I’m in non-stop prayer for our friends who are losing their homes.  But it’s not all bad.  Some things are better.  Really, really better.