Before I get started, can I just say Thank God for Gymboree?  If the girls didn’t have open gym time to run off their TOXIC cases of Ants in the Pants during this wintery freezing rain..we’d be in real trouble.  “Bouncing off the walls”…not a figurative statement in our house.

SO, not sure if you’ve noticed, but while being the poster child for Ants in the Pants, Sara is also a little dramatic. And by a little dramatic, I mean that while we were building her giraffe habitat homework this week, she begged me to glue the lion in such a way that he was actually attacking the giraffe.  After all, he IS the predator, and the giraffe is NOT an endangered species.  I drew the line at blood and gore in our Pre-K diorama…some ideas must be tamed.

What I like about Sara’s homework is that while I helped her, it still LOOKS like someone with a 4 year old artistic ability helped.  So I’ve got that going for me.

Sara likes to chit chat lately at bedtime.  She feels the need to tell me all the Pre-K news.  Who was sick, who sat in time out, who wouldn’t stay in line, and on and on.  Lest any of our classroom parents think I actually remember ANY of this, I promise, I don’t.  She is making most of it up.  I know this because her stories are RIDICULOUS.  Trust me, had any child stood up in the middle of Spanish class, screamed at the top of their lungs, threw their shoes down the hallway, and then rode a pony to the time out chair…we probably would have heard about it.

I call it our nightly version of “The Young and The Restless”, and it goes something like this (all names changed to protect the truly innocent):

First, Matthew wouldn’t stay in line, and then he just pushed every single one of us out of line.  We were all just on the floor!  I think Caroline was out today, but she wasn’t sick, she’s in China.  She’ll be back tomorrow.  Brock wasn’t in China…he has pink eye.  And THEN Sophie wouldn’t let me play in housekeeping, so I pointed right to her and I said, “COOL IT SOPHIE.  You’re not the boss of me.”  I went over to blocks, and Marcus HIT me over the head with a block.  I cried and I was bleeding all over the blocks, so I told my teacher, and he had to sit in time out.  I played at the sand table with Madi and we made a castle, and she told me I wasn’t in her group, but I WAS in her group, and I WASN’T in Sophie’s group in housekeeping, but I finished my castle and I went to Jake’s group but he said I was in Madi’s group but I WASN’T because I WASN’T, and then I just GAVE UP!  And I told my teacher.  And she told me to find my assignment group, but I couldn’t!  Then we had snacks.  Why does Annie talk right to my face?  Why does she get RIGHT up in my face?  It really scares Nicolas and every time she does it he just runs to housekeeping.  So I just ran to housekeeping.  But Sophie told me I WASN’T IN HER GROUP…..”

At this point, Kelly bolts upright and yells, “TALK TO ME!  I WANT A TURN!”

Crawling into bed with Kelly, it sounds something like this:

“Weeeelll, Matt-u wouldn’t stay in line and he push all of us to da floor!  I told Sophie, “You NOT DA BOSS UB ME!”  Marcus HIT me in da head wid da brock, but he wasn’t in ma goop.  I was in his goop and I wasn’t in Madi’s goop and I not in da goop, so I told ma teacher.  And SHE told me to EAT A SNACK.  And I told her to GET BACK IN BED.  So I run to da housekeeping and Annie talk right in ma face.”

At which point, Sara, in her most drawn out and maudlin fashion says, “Kelly, you are not EVEN IN Pre-K”.  Like…how could you possibly understand?  You go to school and it’s blue day and you wear blue and paint with blue, while I have to navigate the social maze that IS Pre-K, not too mention I have to plan out a diorama in which a giraffe is completely devoured by his primary predator.  Really Kelly, I’m in the REAL world.

Young and The Restless…ah, the drama…of daughters…