Wisdom Comes Suddenly

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I am constantly thinking of things I want to tell the girls.  When they are 15.  See?  They are not 15, and what if I forget?  What if…by some crazy act of memory loss, I am unable to share with them the world’s most important female survival tips during their teens and early 20’s?  I suppose the world won’t come crashing down if they have to discover the hard way you should not lock your knees while being painted with a fake tan (you will pass out)…but still…I’d like to save them the embarrassment and trouble of waking up with a small Asian lady standing over their naked, half-tanned body, saying “OH NO!  You OKAY?  Wake up!” (and major thanks to the friend from whom I borrowed this story…for once, it “wadn’t” me)  So here goes a few (these are very, VERY girlie…boys, you may want to look away):

1.  A $150 career shirt LOOKS like a $150 shirt.  It will look better on you when it’s on sale for $75.  You should buy it.  You won’t regret owning that shirt.

2.  You will regret money you spend on shoes and purses.  You won’t regret money you spend on quality pants.

3.  A $100 pair of pants looks like $100 pair of pants.  A $400 pair of pants looks like $100 pair of pants.

4.  There are few problems in life that can’t be bettered by a good cut and color.  If that doesn’t help, call your Mother.

5.  Nothing is cheaper at the mall.

6.  Never get your hair done at JC Penney.  Nope.  Never.  Unless you want to look like a punk’ed out Tiger.  I may have learned this lesson more than once.

7.  It’s never OK for your bra strap to show, or any part of your unmentionables, now that we are on the subject.  N-E-V-E-R.  Stop!  No, never.

8. If you end up with real acne, leave the drugstore and go see a dermatologist.  You inherited my genes, so this may come up.  It’s not vain to get rid of acne, fix your teeth, wax your eyebrows, wear make up, or take care of your hair.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is just promoting their own agenda.  Conversely, never judge those who choose not to do the above.  Judging is you promoting your agenda.  In matters of beauty, each to her own.  But always take advice from girlfriends who love you.

9.  Never pierce your own ears.  Never let your friends pierce your ears.  You will never need more than one hole in each ear.  Hair mistakes grow out, but ears don’t.

10. A good litmus test if you’ve picked the right girlfriends for you: if you get ready for a girls get together, and no matter what, you feel ugly…you’ve got the wrong friends.  If you get ready, and no matter what, you feel beautiful…you’ve got the right friends.

When in doubt, call your Mother.  Call your Mother.  CALL YOUR MOTHER!!!

The Momma

4 responses to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”

  1. I love it! I don’t have daughters, so I will have to add to your list. Here are mine: 1. When you are in college, you will think that a tattoo of the Chinese word for Love/your sorority letters/a pink butterfly will look very good on your shoulder/ankle/bikini line. You will be convinced that you will still love this tattoo when you are 50. You will be wrong.
    2. When you are 17, you will be asked out by a very nice, sweet, smart and shy boy in who is good at math. You will also be asked out by a boy who has long hair, plays sports, and gets Cs in math. Pick the long hair. When you are 25, you will again be faced with this choice. Pick the guy who is good at math this time. 3. No one over the age of 12 should wear a sparkly belt. For any reason. Ever.

  2. CUTE! That photo reminds me of Scout when he was little he loved to wash dishes – so we’d get all the Tupperware out so he wouldn’t break anything…

  3. Lydia,
    I also don’t have girls, so here are a couple of mine to add to the bottom of yours:
    1. If a boy with a long hair, beautiful blue eyes asks you out, and your mother tell that he will broke your heart, she is totally right, but don’t let that stop you, because regardless of how much it will hurt, it will so be worth it! 😉
    2. Don’t ever think that buying 2 $25 jeans will make up for your dream jeans that cost $100. Save your $50 and get daddy to give you the other $50. Always go for the ones you want, because they will keep haunting you…forever!
    3. Your best friends (the ones you identified from your mom’s list that are really the good ones) are the best thing you will EVER have in life. They will walk your journey with you, no matter how far apart you are, or how long you stay without seeing each other…they will always be there for you when you need them. They are angels sent by God to help you!
    Love you, girls!!!