Dear Sara and Kelly,

When I took an extended leave of absence from my job, I wrote, “Read On Your 30th Birthday”.  I was proud of my decision and proud of my ability to see above the Mommy Wars debate…and just DO what was BEST for US.

Today, that story took another turn, as I resigned permanently from my job.  It took all of one phone call and a single piece of paper, which is the definition of irony if you knew how much my previous employer loves paper.  I was in the business of research, where all things are recorded twice.  Entire careers are built around checking the recording of those 2 things, which are then scanned, typed over, checked again for accuracy, spot checked, and then verified. Now you know why I don’t forget things.  My calendar is a back up of a back up of an email of that thing we talked about in the carpool line.

This decision was more apparent than the first, but an equally tough bridge to cross.  I saw your bright eyes standing on the other side, just waiting for me to make this arrangement more permanent.  The day after I got the letter, I decided after school we’d goof off at the Childrens Museum for a couple of hours, and as we walked in, Sara, you looked at me very solemnly and asked, “You aren’t going back to work are you?”  I gave you the pro/con list.  You both, quite adamantly answered, “NO!  NO!  We don’t care about Disney.  We…Want…You.”

So there you have it.  I’ll remind you of this conversation when you tell me you HAVE to have Polly Pockets at the grocery check out line.

I wish I could say it was all up to you, but really, Daddy and I made the decision together.  I knew I wanted to stay home, while wanting to go back (while winning an Academy, wearing my apron, tied to my sewing machine, taking notes at the PTA meeting, hosting a themed play date, and starting a novel…FOCUS LORI), but I couldn’t for the life of me find my words.  Daddy said, “There may come a time for you to go back, but that day is not now.  Now is when your leave ends, so maybe it’s time to resign.”  Daddies think with math; even their words are math-y.  I think Daddy secretly knows I have my own plans for my “career”, and is so good at letting me grow into it at my own pace.

I hope you’ll dare to imagine new and exciting possibilities for yourself at every age.  There is no universal law that says you pick your career at 20 and that seals the deal.  You can start over at any time, and while you may fear you’ve lost momentum, I promise you, that feeling is temporary and false.  God has a plan for you, just as he has for me, and momentum is an illusion.  Be different if you so choose.  Be the same if it fulfills you.  But most importantly, BE YOU, no matter what.  It’s the best way for God to recognize you when there is wisdom to be imparted.

So girls, a deal’s a deal, and this one is done.  For 10 years I was both a Neuroscience Medical Liaison and Neuroscience Clinical Development Consultant at Eli Lilly & Company.  I found my contribution to be rewarding and exciting and many other -ing words I won’t write tonight.  I traveled the world and worked with some of the brightest minds in medicine.  My colleagues were some of the most honorable people working in health care today.  I am proud of my work and my accomplishments.  And now?  I’m just Lori, a woman open to possibilities.  Honestly, I have always loved these in-between nooks and crannies in life.  A life undefined can be extraordinarily liberating.

That being said, it is also time for me to take my life back sweeties.  My future is unwritten, but emerging, and so is yours.  School is now the central focus of your lives, and that is a very good thing.  I’m more of a driver/cook/adviser these days, and much less your Cruise Ship Social Director.  Consider the cord cut….it’s time for you to write your own story too.  Don’t worry, I’ll be right behind you, cheering you on.

Here’s to our new chapter, and with all the love in my heart,

Mommy