I’m just going to say the painful truth and get it out there: I’m off fast carbs. I KNOW! I know. You never thought I’d try something cheesy like a low-carb, no-carb gimmick diet, so I’m going to be honest and tell you: it’s Greg’s fault. He read a book which is really just a repackaging of the old Adkins diet, and wanted to try it as an experiment. The book (which I won’t mention because I’m starving and terribly angry at the author right now) covers diet and exercise and supplements…I may strongly dislike the writer, but he is thorough.
Therein lies my dilemma: apparently I cannot write without potato chips. If you want humor, I’m going to need at least 1 donut hole. Make that 6. Or 12…I mean really, once you’ve eaten 6, you should round out the dozen. I’m attempting to red wine my way through it, which means I’m losing weight, but turning into an alcoholic. Nobody is winning here, except my waistline. I cannot even stand to look at red meat, which just a few short weeks ago, may be described as my favorite food on earth. If I eat even one more piece of bacon, I might cry. Realizing I wasn’t emphasizing veggies enough, I tried to stir-fry it up at dinner tonight. As you can see, like a true American, I found a way to overdo veggies. Too…many…veggies. But hey, I’m still hungry, so I have that going for me.
We are in Week 5, and I wake up most nights, screaming for a loaf of bread in my sleep. I am fully aware that abandoning my efforts will return me to prior weight within a very short span of time, making a mockery of my weeks of suffering. So I maintain, and swear, “just one more day”. I was only able to write tonight thanks to a bowl of sunflower seeds and dried cranberries. Can you even READ that?! Where is the humanity?
A) Have any of you tried one of these cock-a-mamey diets, and tell me your thoughts, and B) Do any of you think that Greg may be trying to kill me? Either way…send baked goods…quickly…
9 responses to “Can A Mirage Be Made Of Potato Chips?”
Greg! STOP trying to kill off Lori! Instead go buy Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon!
Honestly, you kids…LOL
Follow the money. Did Greg take out a very large insurance policy on you the day before you started the diet? Have you seen brochures for island homes in Fiji lying around the house? Does the guy from the Ferarri dealership keep calling and asking when Greg is going to stop back in? If you answered yes to the questions above, Greg is trying to kill you.
And that stir fry looks disgusting. I am never going to visit you again if that is what I have to eat. Just saying.
What is all this about? We must talk so I can talk you out of this ridiculous diet! No one should be waking up dreaming of Wonder Bread!
I thought my sugar cookies would have cured you. I guess not….
Fad diets never work long term- which is why I gave up on them after giving Atkins the old college try. I’ve been working hard over the past year to really focus on improving my eating habits by incorporating nutrient dense foods into as much of my diet as possible. What does this food really do for me?
Bread is not the enemy. Cards are not the enemy. You just have to make smart choices about them- read labels and decide what ingredients you’re committed to buying.
Besides, anything that leaves you hungry and cranky- not cool!
I’m here to cheer you on, Lori! 5 weeks is amazing. The whites and sugars are not good for our guts (and not just the “puffy” part of the gut, the way it actually works). Way to go!
My strategy is to go only 2 weeks without any carbs or sugars. It takes away the intense craving for potatoes, white breads, pasta’s, cookies, etc. I then start adding whole grains, oatmeal, and fruit. I still keep the weight off and I can enjoy a pizza and some pie about once a week without consequences. Everything in moderation!
I like Jenny’s approach. After your 6 weeks is up, you could try adding some whole grains back in.