The 80’s barfed on us.

The girls’ school had an 80’s theme Adults-Only party last night.  Let’s just try and estimate how crazy I could go with an 80’s theme?  It simply cannot be calculated.  I started by trying to squeeze into my Junior and Senior Prom dresses.  It really wasn’t close. In my attempt to first zip and then pull my mermaid style Senior Prom dress over my head, I got stuck, and nearly suffocated as I stumbled around my guest room, half-naked, looking like some kind of crazed sequined-demon from a bad horror movie.  I was home alone at the time, and I kept thinking, OH MY GOD, they’ll find my blue airless body, half-wedged into a Size Negative dress straight out of 1989, and how on earth is Greg going to explain this at the funeral? I can hear the whispers…”Oh heavens, I heard she was so vain that she died trying to get into her Senior Prom Dress!  That’s so sad…”

So instead, I opted for a Janet Jackson circa “Rhythm Nation” jacket, black knickered capri pants, matching neon socks and purse, zebra-striped Converse, pink and green neon painted nails, large heart earrings, and hot pink chopsticks in my very large hair.  I broke the curling iron doing my hair, no joke.  I got ready at my sister’s house, and I won’t lie…I got some of my makeup out of my 6 year old niece’s Barbie makeup box.  Good times, good times.

I think we were trying to imitate Princess Leia’s expression, but it wasn’t good.

After a really fun Italian dinner with friends (in a very crowded restaurant full of people who apparently haven’t seen 10 adults dressed in 80’s wear in a few decades…I guess literally), we headed to the Ritz Charles.  The place was DECKED out: life-size cut outs, alternative name tags (I was Ducky from “Pretty in Pink”…obviously, and Greg was Ricky Schoeder), an entire table covered in 80’s candy, a Graffiti wall, posters, a Billy Joel impersonator…and perhaps I should mention the 2 open bars and dance floor.  I think you can assume what I did with that.

While my recollection of the evening is crystal clear, I feel that a few details might be fuzzy.  Such as, how did the lifestyle cut out of Michael Jackson end up in my minivan? Just kidding…thanks to Courtney for donating it to MJ’s biggest (and maybe shortest) fans, Sara & Kelly.  Just how many gigantic pixie sticks did I think I would be needing in the near future?  I know that Jay won the Ronald Reagan imitation contest, but did I really heckle Billy Joel will regarding the true first air date of “Summer, Highland Falls”?

Here is our gang and the parents of our girls’ best pals.  Big kudos to Shayla and Jay for throwing together outfits and landing a babysitter in about an hour.  Camille gets huge props for owning the most leg warmers (she is a ballerina, so it’s reasonable), and Chuck shares Jay’s talent of doing great Reagan impersonations.  And Kellie and Clem?  Oh ma’ goodness…first, Clem’s tied sweater looks like he just walked off the Notre Dame campus yesterday, and Kellie’s Madonna get up (those are ripped tights with her denim mini skirt) was my favorite;  I called her a “bad influence” all night, because she just looked like she was going to skip class and sneak a cig.

Our gang is way too cool to be exclusive.  If you are willing to dance in front of the entire school, you’re in.  Last night we recruited Nellie and Brian, and let me tell you, these 2 know how to rock.  They are raising 4 beautiful girls, and any couple that daring and awesome should definitely hang out with us more often.  I think Brian was imitating Princess Leia as well, but it might be Ronald Reagan.  Or Dan Quayle.  Or the entire staff of the school watching me light up the dance floor during “The Safety Dance”.

A chance to dress up, say adieu for a few hours to our 11 children, and dance the night away?  Pure bliss.  Our party continued after the party, because every 80’s party needs an after party, so big thanks to Aunt Jenny and Uncle Jason for hosting a sleepover with Cousin Avery and their home.  It’s a good thing, because it’s POSSIBLE I woke up in less than stellar shape this morning…