She looks so innocent at her Daisy Scout sleepover with her rainbow-painted cheek.  Don’t be fooled.

Tonight at the dinner table:

Mommy: Sara, what was your favorite thing today?

Sara: GYM!!  We played mosquito tag!

Daddy: OK, I give…how do you play mosquito tag?

Sara: Well, the mosquitoes have noodles, and they tag us with the noodles.  If you get tagged, you have to say, “OUCH!”, and sit down.  And then the kids with scarfs can untag you, and they are called the Doctors.

Mommy: Really?  The scarf people are doctors in this game?

Sara: YEAH (in her exasperated, “Mommy, why can’t you follow my simple games, like the time I changed Little Red Riding Hood’s name to Rishi and gave her a bindi” tone of voice).  But when all of the doctors have been tagged, the game is over.

Daddy: (just too stunned to speak).

Mommy: SO, everyone gets stung and put down by mosquitoes, unless a doctor untags them, but when all the doctors are stung, the game is over.  That’s not mosquito tag, that’s…Sara, were you playing MALARIA TAG?

Sara: I don’t think so.  What’s malaria?

Daddy: Hey Kelly!  What was your favorite thing today?

 

Tonight on our way home from ballet:

Mommy: Are you SURE you want to do your spring report on diamonds?

Sara: YES!

Mommy: OK, but you know, we should probably leave out the Conflict Diamonds.

Sara: What are Conflict Diamonds?!

Mommy: Well, diamonds are so precious, that some people sell them and use the money for bad things….(and here is where I launched into a full-scale tutorial on Conflict Diamonds, glossing over the blood and gore, and simply stating, “it brings out the bad apples in society”. Can we even BEGIN to anticipate what a VERY, VERY BAD idea it was to talk to a child like Sara about Conflict Diamonds?  I think we all remember what Kelly did when she learned the word “booby”.  And recalling how they turned Disney movies into games of “Dead Parent”, I cannot imagine what games these 2 hoodlums are going to invent with this new information.  It will be some bad, ugly mayhem.  Stay tuned….)