This is a stick up.  Hand over your wallet, your jewels, your car keys and just walk away.  Keep your iPhone; those things freak me out.  Stay calm, and nobody gets hurt.  Understand?  Stop looking at me.  What are you looking at?  What?  You think I’m cute?  You think I’m some sort of clown?  Am I here to make you laugh?  Don’t let my THREE POUNDS fool you sucker.  I’m FIERCE!  I’ll bite your toes and kiss your nose while you sleep! (and with that, he has once again dozed off on whatever lap he last landed…)