I had planned a far different post for today. One in which I cleverly avoided the elephant on my table this week. We are deep in the midst of change here at the ranch, and it isn’t the easy kind. It’s the “we waited 6 months to get into the world’s best urologist” kind of change, and it’s the “he won’t be able to change our stars with the wave of his hand” type of news. BUT, there are a few more “things we can try”, and some real discussion about trying some interventions I’ve mused about for 2 long years. I won’t go deep into details because we are less than 24 hours into changing meds and adjusting the things we’ve tried before. I refuse to fear the “if this doesn’t work, more testing looking for far scarier stuff” will occur. I’m simply grateful this doctor has taken our case, because we are finally in capable hands that will not stop until we’ve found the answer.
There is so much I want to share here. So many Celebrate Calm things to well…celebrate. This past week wouldn’t have even occurred without the tools it has given me. There are many other things to discuss, such as alternative therapies and diet changes….but for now, I am simply in this moment. I am just here…breathing, and staying calm. And praying. Sara and I are ardently praying that God will miraculously heal her tiny, malfunctioning bladder, and I’m going to drop my fear and ask you to pray as well. Sara’s bladder simply only works at half-capacity, and once it reaches its limit, it leaks. All day. She’s 6. This really sucks. And this has sucked for 24 straight months. Your prayers are much appreciated and put me in your debt. By the way, when it comes to religion, we take all-comers here…God is in all of us, and with all of us, all the time.
I wasn’t planning on saying any of this tonight, but my funny story about a trip to the Zoo and Kelly planning my death will have to wait. Because tonight Greg sent me the link below, and in case any Momma with a Special Needs child (or any child you are holding onto tightly) is reading, this will turn you around on a dime. The children we fret over today will not be the same in a year. Or in 2 years. While it means some solutions we’ve tried before will no longer fit, it also means these struggles will not always be ours to fight. Our kids are resilient. They have gifts. They have strength. It’s written here, and no one needed this message more than I did tonight. Thank you to Greg for sending me “Have A Little Faith” by Jonathan Fields. It’s definitely worth a few minutes of your time:
7 responses to “Have A Little Faith”
Dearest Lori- First of all, you have my prayers. Sara has my prayers, as well as your entire family. I hope you can feel them beaming like flood lights all the way from Alabama today.
Second, I thank you for sharing the hard stuff. Your hard stuff may not be like someone else’s hard stuff, but your faith, determination, and hope are that things we all need to be reminded DO exist. You remind me so beautifully, You remind me I can grasp them, too, whatever comes my way.
The “Have a Little Faith” blog post had me in tears for not only my own precious daughters, but for little girl who lives inside of me desperately trying to follow her dream, but is finding the road to be self-defeating and painful to the most sensitive parts of my heart. His poem and your journey remind me to have faith. And if that is all I have somedays, I don’t need anything more.
I love you and am SO incredibly proud of your courage.
The good and the bad stuff happen everyday to all of us and it does help to share. You never know when someone someplace may have the answer or at least something to try. Everyone can use words of encouragement and of course PRAYERS are always welcome in my book. I will definitely add your family to my prayers. Hang in there and yes “Have a Little Faith” sometimes that’s all we have to hang on to. 🙂
Hugs.
I know you Lori, and I need to tell you this: Sometimes God gives us things that only we can fix, and we learn that we have special gifts to share with the world. Other times he gives us things that we will never be able to fix. In these times we learn to acknowledge that God is in control and that we have more courage than we ever thought possible. No matter the outcome in store for Sara – Sara will be okay and you will be okay. You are both loved.
Oh Lori, I am so sorry that Sara has this leaky problem at her age. I know all about the embarrassment at any age for I have a damaged nerve ( we think) that causes me to more than leak all day, all night, always. Maybe my own appointment with a urologist next week will shine some hope my way too. You certainly have my prayers for success for your little one. Much love from Beth
Thank you. Just….Thank you.
Our hearts our with you. Our prayers are yours to have. I loved the Have a Little Faith video, so many great reminders in there.