Me: Sara, why did you write the definition of goblet as “sneaky and daring”?

Sara: OH!  I thought it said GOBLIN. Oh well, at least I finished my math pages that were all about a deck of cards.
Me: Wine glasses and decks of cards?  I thought you were in the Simple Machines Unit!  I can teach you to be a drunk card player for free. What did you write as the definition of motive?  Does that read…ate up?  I’ve never heard you say those words.

Sara: Oh no, I couldn’t find that word, so I put down an answer that also isn’t a word.  See?  I wrote, “AAT UPT”…those aren’t words, kind of like “mopive”. I was looking up words in the dictionary, and it wasn’t in there.

Me: Motive.  The word is motive.  It means your reason for doing something.  Like, for example, why do you get out bed in the morning?

Sara: Because you tell me to get up.

Me: This isn’t working…

Daddy: Sara, when you eat, your motivation is hunger.

Mommy: When you pee…

Sara: I don’t pee.  I’m afraid I’ll miss something.

Kelly: It’s like when I pee, and I’m afraid I’ll miss something in a Barbie movie.  I choose the bathroom CLOSEST to the TV, then I run in, I shut the door, I go really, really fast, then I quietly whisper to myself, “I am the Queen of the Bathroom”!  And then I wash my hands SUPER SUPER FAST…and I call the whole thing a “SPEEDER”.

Mommy: I’m done for today.  I need a break.