My Dearest Sara,

Should you ever decide to climb on the vanity, grab the magnetic key off the light in the bathroom, use it to open the tot lock on the medicine cabinet, root through the sundry pharma products inside, leave a bottle of melantonin sitting on top of the cabinet, and then proceed to lock the key inside the cabinet…well honey…YA’ GONNA GET CAUGHT.

I think you’d feel better if you rid your conscious of things I haven’t yet caught you doing yet.  Go ahead.  I’m listening.