There comes a point in every crafting project when the kids and cats are covered head to toe in tiny balloons, desperately seeking a neutral charge, when Momma’s hands are bruised from tying the 250 balloons…and the Crafter begins to doubt if the juice is worth the squeeze.

The Crafter wonders if Pinterest is more propaganda than good ideas.  Good photography gone amok. The budget that once seemed perfectly realistic, is now off by 20%.  The last Cricut mat dies, only for that Crafter to realize, it was the last mat in the state.  And was she planning for magical gnomes to clean the house?  Why does everyone at the Chinese Buffet know her family by name?  Wasn’t there a time when she remembered to thaw out the pork loin and buy the snow peas?  Perhaps the grocery list is buried under that pile of fabric and fishing line.  Has anyone seen the tape measure?!

The Crafter has been to this wasteland before.  She knows the projects will come together, the last hurdle will be jumped, and a sea of motivation awaits her.  She knows even if it comes together as a ridiculous hodge-podge of color, no one will care.

But right now she’s wishing those mobiles would finish cutting and sew themselves.  She’s wishing the mice from Cinderella would mop her floors and scrub the guest bathroom.  And while their at it, make some beds.  Perhaps those talking dishes from Beauty and the Beast would like to finish the shopping and make the food, while Snow White’s Dwarfs set up her craft tables.

Hey.  No. Stop. Start over. What she really needs is that Manic Blondie from Tangled.  This shit would be DONE people.  D-O-N-E.  And there would be singing and an entire mural painted on the living room wall.  Does anyone have her number?