She told me she was a scary wolf who licks her victims to death. Apparently this wolf either just came from some sort of formal tea during Mardi Gras, or doesn’t like to leave fingerprints.
I’ve never like the word “back talk”. It sounds…well…backwards. Don’t talk back? Yuck, no better. I usually simply refer to it as “sass”. You are being sassy. Don’t be a sassafras. While I feel like the girls have been a pile of sass all summer, it came to a screeching halt this week. I have no idea why. Was I in a better mood, having reached the end of my summer To-Do list? Without errands and play dates and endless loads of beach towels to wash, we’ve done a lot of lounging about with bowls of popcorn and watching movies. We’ve slept in really, really late (9 am!). We’ve goofed around in our pj’s day after heavenly day. Still, as it was a summer of sass, I felt I should share two classic conversations I’d rather not forget:
Sara at bedtime:
Sara: Can I sleep in my robe?
Mommy: Of course.
Sara: No. Just in my robe.
Mommy: No! You have to wear clothes!
Sara: What if I meet you halfway and wear a tank top?
Mommy: I’m done talking about this.
Sara: Was that a yes or a no?
Mommy: It’s just not worth it. It’s a yes. And stop talking like a teenager.
Sara: Hee, hee, hee…
It was just a rough night all around. I think I finally got her into a deep sleep around 4 am. Cy gave up at midnight and slept with Kelly. I took his spot. Yeah Mommy.
Kelly, in the car:
Kelly: I got a sheet of stickers in this birthday card! Can I put them on the window?
Mommy: NO! When have I ever let you put stickers on the car window?
Kelly: Never. But Jessica* is allowed to put them on her windows! (*Names changed to protect the sticker-iffic family.)
Mommy: If Jessica jumped off a cliff, would you? (Insert: I can’t believe I actually said that.)
Kelly: No. What’s a cliff?
Mommy: It means to jump off the side of a steep mountain.
Kelly: WELL NO! Why in the world would Jessica jump off a cliff? She is a very smart girl Mommy.
Mommy: Of course she is. It’s a phrase people use to suggest you don’t always have to do what your friends do.
Kelly: I wouldn’t even have to talk her out of jumping off a cliff because she’d never think TO DO SUCH A THING! Who would do that? Why do people say that? It makes no sense!
Mommy: It’s a very common phrase.
Kelly: It’s just awful. Terrible. I’m going to have a nightmare about my good friend jumping off a mountain.
Mommy: Those stickers had better stay put young lady. I know your diversion tricks.
Kelly: Hee, hee, hee…
6 responses to “The Beginning (and Reprieve) of Sass”
haha. I am glad Sara likes her robe. And come one….her last name symbolizes sleeping in the buff haha
Amanda!
OMG you sound like our parents! But Mom, Karen Arndt gets to have acrylic nails in high school. “If Karen Arndt jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?”
But seriously Dr. Pepper. She had really, really nice nails. And the world’s greatest purses hanging on her closet door nobs. And she got to wear fine jewelry to school. Man, I wanted to be Karen too.
Right? My parents would try to say, “Well, yes, Karen has 16 solid gold bracelets and 14 leather Coach purses, but that’s because she’s an only child. YOU get to have lots of brothers and sisters instead. Isn’t that better than gold and Coach purses?” Um. No. Not really when you are 15, no. No it’s not.
RIGHT. I have a sister for whom we compete for boyfriends, never lets me in her room, and refuses to acknowledge me in the high school hallway. I’ll take the bracelets and purses, thank you very much.