It’s common knowledge that Kelly hates Halloween (and I use the word “hate” quite purposefully here).  She finds most of life scary, so Halloween drives her to the brink.  I’m considering a chit chat with a Chit Chat Doc, to be honest.  She keeps a mental running list of stores she calls her “Safe Spots”, which are stores without hideous, Rated R decor.  I don’t even attempt the “not safe spots”.  It’s far too traumatizing, and seriously people, a trip to Lowe’s is not life or death.

Tonight she stood on a chair and showed me what scares her: the face.  I grabbed the camera, and yep…there it is: the face made by creepy, horrid life-size decorations everywhere.  Witches that light up green and yell into the wind.  Odd Frankensteins that offer you plates of candy while making the most awful of sounds.  Kelly, with her red tired eyes, and streaks of blue paint on her face, imitated the putrid pouts of these creatures perfectly.

It is possible Kelly has withheld normal child emotions from us for these past 5 years, as it’s possible we had some pretty big fish to fry. So add the start of Kindergarten + Halloween + living in a house with new space for bad moods, and this all equals THE PERFECT KELLY STORM.  Set aside her wildly unpredictable moods, uncontrollable crying in computer class (???what???), and general nonsensical mayhem, and let’s focus on what you’ve grown to enjoy most about Kelly: her conversations.  Let me warn you now: the normal random Kelly conversations you’ve grown to love have taken a chaotic turn:

After dropping Sara off at a slumber party:

Daddy: It’s just you and me!  Do you want to get dessert?  We can get milkshakes or ice cream or Frosties?

Kelly: I want jello.

Daddy: I wouldn’t know where to GET jello, except to make it, and it wouldn’t be ready for hours.

Kelly: I WANT JELLO.

Daddy: You’ll have to choose Kelly.  Ice cream, milkshakes, or Frosties.

Kelly: Frosties.

[Daddy drives to Wendy’s, where, in the drive thru line…]

Kelly: MILKSHAKES!  MILKSHAKES!!  I WANT MILKSHAKES!!!

Daddy: It’s OK.  Those are just next door.  Do you want to go in?

Kelly: Yes!

[Walking into Steak and Shake, where…]

Kelly: DRIVE THRU!  DRIVE THRU!  I WANT TO GO HOME!!!

Daddy: Kelly, who are you?

Tonight at dinner:

Mommy: So, if you had 17 billion dollars, would you think of the money as all yours, or would you feel like you had an obligation to mankind to do something charitable with it?

Kelly: I’d give 85 dollars.

Mommy: If you had 17 BILLION dollars, you’d give away exactly 85 dollars?

Kelly: And an old church.  I’d say, “Hey people, I’m done with this old church. You can have it. Then I would just walk away. ”

Sara: Does Haiti have a house yet? (Nope…she hasn’t given up.  This girl has been saving quarters for Haiti for almost 3 years.)

Mommy: No, not yet.

Sara: I’d build all those houses in Haiti.  And I’d give 100 dollars.

Mommy: Greg, we have some work to do.