Phone Ringing:

Nurse: Lori? This is the Shelli, the School Nurse.  I have Sara in the office with me.

Me: Oh Lordy.

Nurse: She’s been stung by a bee.

Me: Thank God!

Nurse: Oh…um…really?

Me: You emailed this morning to alert us to a lice outbreak!  I’m thrilled!

Nurse: I guess this would be better, wouldn’t it? She’s doing fine.  She’s not even crying.  I’m pretty impressed.

Me: She’s not crying because she knows it was her fault.  She was holding the bee.

Nurse: How?  Really?

Me: OH, trust ME.  She was HOLDING that bee.  She likes to catch them by their legs.  Insect Unit.  1st grade.  It’s intense. I hope she’ll stop picking them up now.

Nurse: I would think so.  You signed to call you before I gave her any medicines.  I have 3 topicals I could apply…

Me: I signed to call?  Really?  It was a mistake.  I probably signed thinking I was approving everything.  Give her 1 of everything.  I’m OK with whatever you’ve got.

Nurse: Oh good!

Me: Tell her I’ll bring her a treat after school for taking it like a Champ.  Tell her I know no matter her story, I know she CAUGHT THAT BEE.

[Post-story: I received 3 different stories from Sara about how she got stung.  Everything from her friend was holding it and it “fell on her hand”, to “I accidentally put my hand over while it sat on the edge of the walkway.”  I didn’t press the issue, knowing she probably learned her lesson.  FINALLY, as I was drying her hair yesterday and she was rattling off about this and that, she slipped and said, “You know the other day when I was holding that bee…” A-HA!!! A-HAAAA!!! I knew it!  I wish you could have seen her “I was busted for cuddling with bees” face.  SO cute. And so busted.  Momma knows, my little Ducky Wigglebottoms.  Momma always knows. ]