This picture proves that black and white photography cannot fix all bad pictures, especially those involving “Chicken Scratch Math”.  Regardless, this messy accounting system has taken 90% of the drama out of our evenings, so I thought I’d share it with you tonight:

We don’t pay for grades.  We pay for effort.

Look, if Sara gives Math her best shot, it can’t be said she’ll ace it.  She might, but with an LD, it’s just hard to say. BUT, if I pay her for getting an average grade, I’ve handicapped her mindset.  She’ll shoot for average.  If I pay based on grades, she’ll always be disincentivized for a “B”, because an “A” would have paid more.  But what if “B” was her best effort?  Kelly gets great grades with a tenth of Sara’s effort.  If we pay Kelly for A’s she didn’t work for, Sara will grow up feeling like she’s sweating over every grade, while Kelly is skating through and getting all the rewards.  With the added bonus of Kelly not learning to work, which I believe on a parenting scoreboard is known as the “double fail”.  Nope…paying for grades wasn’t going to be a good fit for our house.

What we really want is for the girls to develop a strong work ethic and learn to learn. Greg and I were not the smartest kids in our majors, we weren’t Valedictorians at our high schools, and we know that while we enjoyed academics, there were plenty of students smarter than us.  But, no one could beat our dedication to task.  I’ve never gotten an A I didn’t study my ass off to get, despite growing up with the nerd title.  My nickname in H.S. Chemistry was “The Squid”, because some douche-canoe said I had 8 hands that could fly across my calculator at the speed of light.  He could eat Ho-Hos at the speed of light, that much I remember.  Yep, I was magical, what with all my “note taking”, and “studying”.  Or WAS IT my 6 extra hands?!

So this year, Greg devised a system in which we pay the girls for work ethic.  When it’s time to do homework, we give a 5-minute heads up, let them choose which subjects they do first, second, etc, and as long as the work is done patiently and with attention (one complaint is allowed, but no crying and no pencil throwing), the girls get a point for each subject. Correct answers don’t get extra points, only a solid effort is required.  Independent completion earns points at a higher rate, but we’re quick to jump in if they are getting frustrated.  They are always happy to turn down bonus points in trade for assistance.

Down the middle of the chart, I keep track when they trade in points, so they can see what they’ve earned over time.  Sara is a saver (Good girl! She did NOT get that from her Momma).  She is determined to earn her own iPod. Kelly wants a stuffed elephant (Kelly always wants a stuffed something, but is terrible at saving…unfortunately she takes after me).  You’ve never seen 2 kids celebrate being assigned project work or having extra quizzes like mine do.  It’s like...GETTING PAID.  Yep…work hard in real life and someone will pay you for it.

Does every point equal a dollar?  Yes and no.  We haven’t worked that math out quite yet.  Greg tells them how many points they’ll need for whatever they are saving to buy. Is it more expensive than we’d like?  Yes, but only in dollars.  It’s easy to use, and the girls gladly jump into their work, and complete it in minimal time with excellent focus. So really, what’s that worth?  Priceless, if you ask my opinion.

This system allows us to celebrate the richness of what they’ve learned, and the hard work they’ve put into learning it. And in the end, solid effort usually results in solid results. Will it always work? Doubtfully.  When the work gets harder, will this put me in the poor house?  Probably.  Are we all happy at this point in time.  Absolutely.  And I wish this kind of calm on all of you this Thanksgiving Season.  Godspeed (and good studying) my friends.