Every year, The Guild at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum, builds a Haunted House, which has raised 8.5 million dollars for the Museum.  That’s a lot of boo’s!  50 years of Boo’s, in fact, as this year marks their 50th year of Haunted Houses. I loved looking through the pictures of the first Haunted House in 1964.  Finally, a tradition which predates my birth.  I really hate seeing signs that read, “Celebrating 35 years of serving Hoosiers”, and realizing I remember the ribbon-cutting ceremony. Yuck.

We traditionally do not attend any Haunted Houses, as Kelly is petrified of Halloween.  But Sara has attended this event before, and told Kelly it would be A-OK during their “friendly, lights-on” hours.  We took Uncle Randy as a “bodyguard” (aka, the Godfather strong enough to carry her for many minutes, if necessary).

This year’s theme was “Time Warp, 50 Years of Fear”, which I thought was rather catchy.  I love a good look through the decades, even if they are covered in spider webs. The first year’s theme was “The Haunted House”.  You gotta love the classics.

Editing out some of the more creepy props, I thought the 70’s was pretty cute.  A hippie and Farrah Fawcett seemed right on target. They even remembered an crocheted afghan quilt!

The 80’s was really well done, and because it’s the greatest of all decades, they couldn’t cover its cultural impact in just one room.  Well-played Guild, well-played. Darth Vader was there, along with a room dedicated to a large TV where kids could dance to the Thriller video.  I might have busted a move.  How can you NOT dance with life-size MJ Zombie in front of you?  That would be wrong, and I’m certain had I not danced, Vincent Price would have been in my nightmares.

The entire bar scene from Stars Wars was there.  The girls have seen Stars Wars, helping Kelly to soldier on, as she enjoyed the familiar characters.  It was not a good sign that it took Darth Vader to calm her down, but she didn’t cry, and that was HUGE for her.  Big step. I wouldn’t have taken her had she not agreed to go, so I was trying to support her efforts at bravery, even though I knew she’d rather be enjoying a nice freak show at Pony Con.

I totally dug the mummies playing video games.  GO 1980’s!! Grody me to the MAX! Gag me with a spoon!  Where’s the beef? Trickle down economics and other scary financial words I don’t understand! Parts of this Haunted House were radical, and other parts were totally gnarly.

The 90’s were bridged with some pretty creepy rooms where Uncle Randy carried Kelly, and she kept her head down until we gave her the green light to look.  The computer rooms were great.  This huge techno spider coming out of a wall was fluorescent and awesome.  But some of the actual Halloween characters and ode to Horror Movies sections were not for small pitchers, even during Friendly Hours.

The house ended with a pretty artistic look at the future, along with light up witches enjoying a 50th Anniversary birthday cake.  This year’s house had not just one, but TWO rotating illusion tunnels, which Sara complained about loudly, and then dove into without question. She’s so funny. I can’t stand this!  OH…hold the phones…that is the greatest thing EVER!  Spinning tunnels must present an interesting conundrum to a brain without a vestibular response.  The illusion of spinning when one cannot physically detect spinning…is that like a neurodevelopmental double negative? That’s it…I’m buying one.  We have experimenting to do.

Loved this nod to Indiana Art History

As far as Haunted Houses go, you probably won’t find a more tame version than the one at the largest Children’s Museum in the country. (I know, I know, Indy is just full of fun surprises, isn’t it?) Kelly hasn’t mentioned it again, nor has she complained of it “haunting” her.  It’s net effect has been benign, therefore, reaching my highest expectations.  That being said, it is, even during friendly hours, a haunted house.  It has blood and gore and creepy things I didn’t document with my camera. Haunted Houses really are more of a “big kid” kind of thing. Sara, at age 8, can clearly tell you it’s all pretend, and she isn’t bothered at all.  She can’t wait for me to sew her Haunted House Girl Scout patch onto her Brownie Vest. Kelly, at age 6, crossed the threshold of distinguishing fantasy from reality over the summer, but she is still bothered by scary things. Just because she knows a creepy zombie is fake, doesn’t mean she fully grasps it can’t come to life and crawl through her window at night. This developmental milestone is more of a grey line than a black and white finish line. Before the age of 6, most kids can’t tell the difference between real and pretend, so every parent should decide for themselves when their children are ready for an actual Haunted House.

If you do have older kids, they have actual Haunted House hours after 3 pm, and I have to say, if I were a middle school or teenage kid, I’d be all over this house. And I’d try those 3D glasses! They also have “extreme scream” hours after 9pm, which in a house that’s also fun, would be a total hoot.  It would be a blast to revisit a 16 year old version of myself, in a house themed to when I WAS 16, doing something I would have loved AT 16.

You have until Halloween at 3 pm to enjoy this 50-year Indy tradition.  The dinosaurs out front are wearing their witches hats, and Bumblebee is carrying the world’s largest trick-or-treat bag.  As always, they’ve spared no details at 30th and Meridian.

*In compliance with FTC blogging disclosure guidelines, I was provided with media passes to this event.  Sara and Kelly were my reviewers, and because I’d already paid them with Twix bars during a family photo shoot, they received no payment for their participation.*