You’all, it’s been a BAD week at the ranch in the crafting/cooking/scheduling department. Epic-bad. Kelly, on an annual basis, gets quite worked up about her half birthday. We, on the other hand, do not. While I make her a treat to take to school (these summer babies have it hard), I tell her no presents. No fanfare. We do more than enough for her actual birthday. She couldn’t decide on a treat, and I found instructions for “easy” white chocolate dipped Oreos on lollipop sticks. Pinterest is a liar, and should be held accountable. The sticks cracked the cookies, and those that didn’t crack, fell apart in the candy coating. It was a wreck. I quickly grabbed spoons and created “Oreo Graffitti”. The girls made them, and they dried, and were handed out, just as you see above. Kelly called them “Melting rainbow Oreos in clouds with sprinkles”, which I couldn’t support. It would never hold up in a focus group. [If you don’t know that I’m joking, please read more of this blog. My real answer was of course, “You’re the most creative genius, and that’s the prettiest name I’ve ever heard, to match these amazingly unique cookies”, with Daddy in the background yelling, “YUM KELLY! These are DELICIOUS!”]

Sara made a 2-dimensional beaded dress to take to the Native American Festival at school. She was assigned “Cheyenne Clothing”, and while making something at home was optional, she worked so hard gluing bead after bead onto a brown felt design of her own making. The beads were as secure as an 8 year old could make them, so I bought a craft spray glue to affix it to a poster board. AND, the entire thing turned to a gummy, sticky, white mess from hell. Sara went to bed crying, and I ruined my manicure, scrubbing every bead with acetone and Q-tips. Did it work? No, not really.

This follows a controversial decision made last weekend to cancel BINGO at school during questionable weather. Our city is entirely on hold during yet another Polar Vortex, which has turned reasonable people into raging bears, especially me. I’m Miss Popular on every front in my life right now. I am at the HEIGHT of popularity. You could confirm this with Greg, but as the Bear-In-Resident, I bit his head off without warning. He’ll have to get back to you.

Wisdom hasn’t come to me this January (from hell). It hasn’t come quickly, so I shall sit here quietly (sort of), and wait for it to come suddenly. Waiting. I’m waiting…