More snow is falling, which really…at this point just feels redundant to say…it goes hand-in-hand with the sun rising. The sun rises, we wake up to a 3″ drifting snow squall with -25 degree temperatures and 25 mph winds, and then the sun sets. In between, we navigate horrid roads, pass innumerable accidents and slide-offs, pray we don’t slip into the ditch, and reschedule our lives through countless delays and cancellations. We are living under one rule, and one rule only: whatever you do, DO NOT GET COLD. Of course we’re all cold. So, so very cold. My friend Vanessa couldn’t get hot water at a sink at school, and that meant she crossed the threshold by 8am. Her hands would be cold for the rest of the day. I tried to run errands last week, and came home equally tired and depressed. I’ve never experienced this kind of unremitting, severe weather. I’ve boarded up my house through 3 hurricanes in one season, and this might be worse.
Basically, January has been CANCELLED. January is delayed in perpetuity. 2014: the Year without a January.
I’ve moved to Plan B, which is titled “Distraction”. For the last 3 Fridays, I’ve escaped into the sweet, quiet darkness of Afternoon Matinees. Here is my summary:
(1) “August: Osage County”: just don’t do it, unless you want to be front and center to the worst family dynamics to hit the big screen since “War of the Roses”. Only 1 character croaks, but you’ll wish death upon the rest, or on yourself, just to make it end sooner. Not all plays make for good movies. But then again, not all plays make for good plays.
(2) “Her”: just do it. As tight and as colorful as an Ang Lee, you will lose yourself in this seamless and unexpected story. Spike Jonze is the ultimate storyteller: it will feel so real, and you will wish it didn’t have to end.
(3) “American Hustle”: so entertaining, but keep it in perspective. Many were expecting a “Casino” darkness meets “Argo” mentality meets “Oceans Eleven” quippy-ness. It’s none of those things, and yet, it is wholly entertaining. Is it even? No. Is it sure of what is trying to be? No. Is the acting insanely good? Yes. Is Christian Bale a thrill to watch? Absolutely. Let it be what it is, and let yourself laugh at the funny parts. I went with 3 girlfriends, and we screamed over the tops of our popcorn.
We’re spending many, many hours wrapped in quilts by the fire. So here are our book summaries:
(1) Kate DiCamillo’s “Flora and Ulysses”: read it. If you like a good DiCamillo, it’s a pleasant journey. It’s far lighter than Despereaux and Edward Tulane, but that’s refreshing. Not all books need perfidy to be great. It’s full of messaging, written straight at children, and spoken in a way far more eloquent way than any adult could deliver. When you read it out loud to your children, don’t be afraid to give some of the characters accents. You’ll see what I mean when you read it.
(2) “Worrier To Warrior: A Guide To Conquering Your Fears” by Dr. Daniel Peters: an absolute must if you have a child who worries. It is written for children, but it’s no picture book. You won’t get a Berenstain Bear message in this one. Dr. Peters is a Child Psychologist who shoots straight, with explanations about why we worry at a neurobiological level, and then provides very useful step-by-step tools to walk your way back out of worry. We sometimes miss how much our children are worrying about their worrying. Sara and Kelly haven’t been this engaged in a book since Angelina got the flu and snuck off to ballet practice through her bedroom window. It has been a life-changer for Sara, and came just in time for a series of very important medical appointments. 2 short months ago, those may have been nearly impossible, but she breezed through, and finally got help for some her more troubling medical maladies. Did it prepare her for the Orthodontist? HA! Don’t be silly. Only Valium could do that, so my stance is: braces can wait.
(3) “Pandora Gets Jealousy” by Carolyn Hennesy, and this entire series: way, way out of our league. Sara and Kelly are obsessed with Greek Mythology, but these chapter books are for 4th grade and above. We crawled through it, but I had to stop and explain every other sentence. It has taken us MONTHS. The text doesn’t flow easily, and the plot moves slowly. I felt like I had moved Stonehenge when we finally finished the first in the series. Later…when they can read it themselves!
(4) “Extra Yarn” by Mac Barnett: I will never tire of this book. That yarn can stand for anything. No matter the problem, I pull out Extra Yarn, and it applies. That’s the whole point! She never, ever runs out yarn, just as that yarn can stand for anything! I just got that. My mind is has been blown…AGAIN.
I have a Plan C, but it involves anti-anxiety medication. Not my favorite plan, but I, along with everyone who has been Polar Vortex’ed to tears, am wearing thin. We commute to a school which does not delay, and rarely closes. Every single morning, I wake up to the Sophie’s Choice of school commutes: do I risk it, knowing a large part of the students live near the school and will make it in? Do I throw in the towel, worsening our cabin fever, while my kids fall farther behind in class? And if I do make it, how will I get back? Is it worth it? I am so far behind in my own life, but if I do drive home, I spend anywhere from 15-20 hours commuting per week. By Friday afternoon, I’m usually in a catatonic state.
These are easy problems. These are not real problems. I know this. But in a world frozen solid, at Day #27 with an up-in-the-air schedule, it feels real. It feels endless. I wish the News Station would just commit to our new reality: January should be called off due to bad weather, and we should try again in February. Godspeed my friends.