How many barrettes does it take to keep their bangs back? ALL THE BARRETTES.

At School Pick Up Last Week:

Me: Sara. Huh. So I see you gave yourself bangs at school today.

Sara: (Looking sheepish): Yeah.

Me: I thought you didn’t want bangs. You haven’t had them in years.

Sara: I don’t! I just got…upset. And so I cut off a piece of my hair!

Me: That’s a pretty big feeling to cut off your hair. What happened?

Sara: I had to miss part of recess.

Me: Did you get a lot of checks this week?

Sara: (Looking sheepish): Yeah. Talking in class. Not putting my name on my papers…it was not good. Lots of kids missed part of recess today.

Me: Did they cut their hair too? Was this a…”thing”?

Sara: NO! Can’t you just cut it to the bottom by my scalp and make it go away?

Me: That’s called a bald spot, and I promise, it will take your new bangs from bad to much, much worse. They aren’t that bad; in fact, I think they are cute. We’ll have Nicole over at the salon clean them up a bit. No biggie.

Sara: NO! I don’t want bangs!

Me: Little too late for that decision sweetie. You got ’em. Don’t worry…hair grows quickly, especially yours. In the meantime, we can bobby pin them back, just like I do Kelly’s.

Kelly: WHY DO YOU DO THIS?

Sara: I DON’T KNOW! I JUST GOT NERVOUS AND I FELT BAD, AND THERE WERE SCISSORS IN MY HAND…SO I CUT MY HAIR!

Kelly: NO. Not why did you cut your hair. Why do you cut the FRONT? When I want to cut my hair, I just lift up the back and take a chunk out from underneath! No one can even SEE IT!

[We will bleep over everything I said from this point forward. Nicole did a lovely job of shaping Sara’s new-do, and she’s received so many compliments on her bangs, she feels much better about the entire “event”. Luckily, they are just long enough to pull into a braid, and with a few tiny bobby pins, she can choose to look like the old Sara. Holding my breath for what these two do to their hair in high school.]