I am the dreaded Tiger Ruffio! You can’t see me, as I’m cleverly hiding behind this house plant. Soon, very, very soon (and very, very often), I shall KNOCK THIS PLANT RIGHT OVER, and POUNCE through its shiny branches! I will LEAP THROUGH THE AIR as you are innocently folding laundry, and I will SWIPE at those exciting SPARKS flying off those sheets! Then, as you neatly stack the linens into that basket, I will get into a FIGHT TO THE DEATH with a rare black tigress! SHE WILL WIN, but I will put on a good fight; an honorable, clean laundry covered fight. We will have to be rescued from piles of cotton, but don’t let our 2 pounds fool you. We’re FEROCIOUS!

Quietly, I will skulk back to my plastic forest, and start this game over again. For I am Ruffio, and I strike when you least expect it! (As in, 2:47 am when I landed on my Momma’s face while rolling across the top of her bad with my best friend, Penny. PENNY! The TIGRESS QUEEN OF THE FOREST!….)