Um…Momma? ‘Bout those vases I knocked over? Sorry about that. And the plant I ate? And the dirt that got everywhere? Yeah…sorry. Hey, while we’re on the subject of apologies, you know those flowers Amie brought you over the weekend? Let’s just start with a SOOORRRY. OK, I’m putting the elephant on the table: I ate the fake ficus. I DID. I ate it. And puked plastic green leaves all over the rug. Look…I’m serious. I’m sorry. I also missed the litter box today. I got IN it, but then I turned around, and everything shot STRAIGHT out the door. Did you see that coming? Because I didn’t. Sorry ’bout that. You know, while I have you here…we should talk about where your workout headband went…