So here is the conundrum, should you choose to accept it: You would like to make your PTA President a birthday treat, and present it to her at the last PTA Meeting of the year, which also falls ON her birthday. She loves M&M’s. Easy. Have a TON of M&M’s. Should be golden. Knowing her sons really, really want to win the M&M cake, you’re thinking you’ll make a second one, making everyone happy.

But there’s a catch: Her son WINS the M&M cake (aforementioned T.S. Adam), negating the plan ALTOGETHER.

Dare you date Pinterest? Pinterest is a lying, cheating boyfriend, who swears by his plans, and then halfway through a date, disappears into thin air, leaving you stranded, without a ride home. OH, but he WOOS you back, time and time again, with his sweet promises of delicious dinners and a dream home with the world’s largest veranda-deck-thing.

I was a sucker for the bad boys in my 20’s, so I couldn’t help myself but give Pin a 2nd chance (or 10th?): M&M cookies on a lollipop stick, balanced across a glass of milk with a chocolate and nonpareil rim.

(1) I used melting chocolate and EVENLY dipped the rim. I had Sara on guard, monitoring my dipping. DO NOT upright the glass. [We used Ball Jelly Jars, because after exhaustive searching, we could not find the shape of cocktail cup we so desired. Sara to the rescue…reminding me I have about a hundred jam jars, just begging to be used.]

(2) Dip the wet chocolate in a bowl of the tiniest nonpareils on the market. Anything larger than a pinhead, and it will gloop up. This has happened to me in the past on “Pinterest Decorate An Apple” Night. DAMN YOU, PIN! Immediately place the jar in the fridge for a few minutes to harden. It won’t need to be stored in the fridge. In fact, it will be so well secured, you’ll have to chip it off with a sledgehammer later.

(3) I used this M&M cookie recipe, and I always read the reviews: Instead of all shortening, I went with half shortening and half pure butter. I don’t trust any recipe that doesn’t call for butter; however, I really love shortening in a cookie as well. I kept the dough cold. This is a must, or it will spread out too far as it bakes. I did press a few candies into the top of the cookie for effect. [Always pull your cookies out before you think they are done. Even if you take them off the sheets within a minute of oven-removal, they will continue to bake.]

(4) After much thought and contemplating, I realized these cookies were baked with the lolllipop stick already inserted. This was a huge a-ha moment. Make a round ball of dough, slide it through the middle, form it a bit around the stick, and put it on the baking sheet (using parchment or a silpat).

(5) You must lift the ends of the sticks, or they will punch through the cookie on the lower third. Nice try, Pinterest. That wasn’t in the directions, but I’VE GOT YOUR NUMBER, ASSHOLE. I just slid a lollipop under the sticks, and they held up beautifully.

(6) In the original instructions, the cookie was centered on the stick, and was balanced across the top of the cup. My jar openings were too narrow, and the cookie would have covered the opening entirely. SO, I put the cookie at the top of the stick, and made it look more like a straw.

(7) I stored the cookies overnight, wrapped in parchment, and sealed in tupperware. I covered the glasses with foil, and transferred them to school on the tray. I packed my funnel, so that when I got to school, I could easily pour milk in the jar without spilling it all over the rims.

(8) Present your “Milk & Cookies” treat to the Birthday Girl (who did a FANTASTIC job as the PTA President, and can now sleep through the night without waking up in cold sweats, dreaming she showed up at school AFTER an event occurred, completely unprepared, and mass chaos has broken out.) Not that I ever did that. More than once…or twice.

So Pinterest sticks around to see another round. I tried, you guys. I really did. We had “the talk” about not meeting each others needs, and how we should move on. See other websites. He all but begged me to stay, showing me cozy library nooks at the tops of stairways I’ll never own,  and garden beds even Martha Stewart couldn’t maintain. I KNOW! I know it’s a LIE, but I can’t help myself. The whole thing is such a tease. So tell me girlfriends…tell me about the greatest lie Pin has told you, and then make me feel better about giving it another shot!